The Song of Songs – I Sought Him, but I Did Not Find Him; I Called Him, but He Gave Me No Answer
The Song of Songs – I Sought Him, but I Did Not Find Him; I Called Him, but He Gave Me No Answer
The spiritual read this book and increase in their love for God… But the carnal need a guide when reading it, lest they misunderstand it and depart from its sublime meaning to worldly meanings…
Meditations on the Book of the Song of Songs
Today we meditate on the words of the Song:
“My beloved put his hand by the opening of the door, and my heart yearned for him. I rose up to open to my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with liquid myrrh, on the handles of the lock. I opened to my beloved, but my beloved had turned away and was gone. My soul failed when he spoke. I sought him, but I could not find him; I called him, but he gave me no answer” (Song 5:4–6).
I sought him, but I did not find him; I called him, but he gave me no answer
God stretched out His hand to open the heart, but not by compulsion. He stretches out His hand through the opening, but you are the one who opens for Me… This is My hand that I stretch out; the fingers of divine grace enter the heart and move it, stirring in it the love of God and longing for Him, but without forcing it…
The bride says, “And my heart yearned for him”…
Her heart was finally moved, but only after her beloved had turned away and gone. He left her to her freedom to keep her comfort as she wished, so that she might feel the extent of her loss in His absence and see practically the result of the soul’s negligence and laziness in rising to open for the Lord.
“I rose up to open to my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh…”
Myrrh is a type of liquid perfume. Therefore she said, “My hands dripped with myrrh.” This soul was perfumed, pampered, and adorned… Yet in all this luxury she was unable to open to the Lord… What benefit did she gain from this perfume and adornment? It would have been better for her to be adorned inwardly with the ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God!
“My beloved had turned away and was gone. My soul failed when he departed…”
God left her in her luxury and indulgence and went away. This is the dreadful abandonment, the withdrawal of grace from the soul, the loss of the sense of God’s presence. This was the very thing that David the Prophet feared greatly, saying to the Lord:
“Do not hide Your face from me” (Ps. 27:9; 69:17; 102:2; 143:7), and “Do not cast me away from Your presence” (Ps. 51:11).
This abandonment is caused by the soul, not by God…
Its cause is laziness, luxury, pleasure, and the love of comfort. Its cause is failure to respond to the work of grace. Grace came to you, but you rejected it. God called you, but you did not respond to His call. Spiritual means surrounded you, but you neglected them. You rejected the fellowship of the Holy Spirit.
In this abandonment, spiritual fervor departs from you. Then you begin to seek it and cannot find it: “My beloved had turned away and was gone…”
Where is the former meditation? Where is the deep prayer? Where are the comforting tears? Where is the love that filled the heart? Where is the awareness of God’s presence, of communion with Him, and of divine fellowship? … All of this has been lost. You pray, but not as you used to pray before. “My beloved had turned away and was gone…”
“My soul failed when he departed”
“Departed” means that He turned His back. When the Lord turned away and turned His back on the soul, and passed on, it then felt an indescribable bitterness. It almost died from sorrow and said, “My soul failed when he departed.” God, the Beloved, whose mouth is sweetness and who is altogether lovely, had turned away and gone, leaving the soul in deep remorse and grief… This is the end of pampering, luxury, and comfort…
Then the soul felt emptiness… It sensed that it was praying, but without connection. It was as though God neither heard nor answered. Therefore she said: “I sought him, but I did not find him; I called him, but he gave me no answer.”
How hard it is for the soul to call upon God and receive no answer, to pray and find that its prayer does not ascend above. It does not enter into the presence of the Lord, nor does it find favor in His eyes! How painful it is to seek God and not find Him, to try to feel Him and be unable. He has turned away and gone…
It is painful for the soul to lose divine consolation and to feel that it is in exile from God, calling upon Him and receiving no answer.
It searches for Him everywhere and does not find Him. It enters the church and does not meet Him there; it does not find Him. It hears the hymns that once melted its heart, yet it is not moved at all. Sermons, spiritual readings, the lives of the saints, prayer meetings—all these no longer touch its heart. So it cries out to God from the depths: “Where are You, O Lord?” Yet He does not answer…
It is a deadly lukewarmness and a strange dryness that almost kills the soul…
If it were the soul that had turned away from the Lord, it would have been easy for it to return. But it is God who has turned away. He turned away and passed on, and the soul no longer sees Him. It has lost His touches upon the heart and no longer hears His voice as it once did.
Indeed, God was with it, but it lost Him…
This was its great mistake: it did not open to Him when He was knocking at its door before. This is the difficult stage of abandonment, into which the soul enters and experiences its bitterness, so that it may learn from it a lesson for the future.
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