Pastoral Visitation
Pastoral Visitation[1]
Visiting the Sick
Visiting the sick is of two kinds: those who are in their homes, and those who are in hospitals. Perhaps there is a third kind: those who are being treated abroad. These are certainly very pleased to receive from the priest a message to check on them, or a phone call, or a word through one of the travelers to ask about their health and the progress of their treatment.
Visiting the sick is very beneficial spiritually and psychologically.
For a person in general—when in sickness—is close to God, seeking His mercy and asking for prayers for healing. He has a heartfelt readiness for repentance and for a life with God. Thus, visiting him is not only for the sake of his physical health, but also for his spiritual benefit, through a good word spoken to him that brings benefit to his life. Visiting the sick is not only to see him and check on him, but it is also good to anoint him with oil and pray for him.
And the anointing with oil should not be done in a routine manner.
I mean in a way in which he does not feel the effectiveness of the anointing. Rather, it should be accompanied by prayers from the depth of the heart, which you can say aloud so that he hears:
“Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven” (James 5:14–15).
Also what was said about the Lord Christ: “When the sun was setting, all those who had any that were sick with various diseases brought them to Him; and He laid His hands on every one of them and healed them” (Luke 4:40). It is also possible to add what is mentioned in (Matthew 10:7–8). And you can also add to all this prayers of your own.
Make the sick person feel your love for him and your care for him.
And trust that your visit to him in his sickness will have its effect on his psyche, so that when he rises from his illness, he will come to thank you. He may also become attached to the church and its meetings because of your care for him during his sickness.
In visiting poor sick people, the priest should care for them materially in the costs of treatment and medication. By this, he conveys to them God’s love for them, which reaches them through the church’s love for them.
There are also sick people who need to be given Communion of the Holy Mysteries.
This should be done in a calm manner that does not make him anxious about his life. Because some may think that they are being given Communion before their death. Therefore, the priest should make the sick person feel that his life with God and his Communion are matters that help him toward healing through his attachment to God’s love in Communion. It is spiritually good for him to partake. A date for Communion should be set so that he may prepare for it spiritually, and perhaps his preparation for Communion will prompt him to confess, if his health allows him to do so.
Visiting the Absent
If the priest visits all the people in general, then visiting the absent has priority and special importance.
The absent sometimes have a particular sensitivity…
One of them may say: “I have been absent for such a long period, and no one from the church asked about me, nor did anyone care for me!!” And you may not visit him, while someone from another denomination visits him, and he compares!! This can have a reaction within him.
Those absent whom you visit are of various kinds:
Some have been absent from the church entirely, or absent from meetings they used to attend, or absent from Communion, or absent from confession, or from important occasions.
What matters is that you notice that he has been absent.
Our Lord Jesus Christ was able to notice the absence of just one whom He did not see among a hundred in His flock (Luke 15). Thus, the priest who cares for his congregation, for everyone, is able to notice the absence of a certain person: either during Communion, or from the confession notebook, or during the distribution of the blessed bread (Eulogion), or because of his absence from a responsibility he had in the church, or from not being present in a particular seat he used to sit in, or through some servants or deacons who inform the priest of the absent so that he may visit them, or because he deliberately absented himself after a dispute between him and one of those working in the church…
If you do not visit this absent person, Satan may visit him!!
And it is known of Satan that he seizes opportunities. Or bad companions may visit him to lead him into other paths. Or certain problems may visit him, or thoughts that trouble him because of your not visiting him…
The reason for his absence may be a state of spiritual lukewarmness, which may last or deepen if no one rescues him from it. Or he may be in a state of illness and needs someone to visit and ask about him according to the commandment of the Lord Christ (Matthew 25:36, 43). Or he may be in a problem and needs someone to stand by him in it… Or his absence from the church may be the beginning of a worse development… What matters is that visiting him is a necessity of importance.
Some priests have in their church a visitation committee.
This committee informs him of those who have been absent and their circumstances: whether he is traveling, or sick, or distressed, or has a problem, or has begun to deviate, or has been attracted by another denomination, or is hindered by family reasons, or by work or time reasons, or an accident has happened to him, or he failed an exam and is ashamed to come to church, or is affected because God did not help him (according to his thinking)!!
We said that the priest visits the sick and the absent. And whom else?
Those with Problems
Without doubt, these are known to him: either because they submitted written or verbal complaints to him, or news of them reached him, or they approached the social service committee, or they have family problems that reached the ecclesiastical council, or they have financial problems, or certain disasters occurred to them.
He does not only visit these, but even more, he works to solve their problems.
He stands by them in their distress and bears for them all that he can bear. And the Lord says, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). He should also pray for them so that God may intervene and solve their problems.
How profound are the prayers that the priest prays at midnight:
For everyone, and with wondrous, varied details, in which he says:
“Save, O Lord, Your people… Save those in tribulations and distresses and sorrows… Comfort the fainthearted… Deliver us, O my Master, from evil temptations and from snares laid, visible and invisible… Remember, O Lord, the orphans and widows, the strangers and the helpless, and those who have no one to remember them… those in pits and prisons, those in captivity and exile, the bound and fettered by the bonds of authorities and demons…”
The priest with the open eye and the wide heart deals with all tenderness and positivity with the distressed among his people.
He visits them not merely by visiting, but by working for them. And as it was said in the book of Isaiah: “To preach good tidings to the poor… to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound… to comfort all who mourn” (Isaiah 61:1–2).
Just as the priest visits the sick, the absent, the distressed, and those with problems… so also he visits his people on liturgical occasions, among which we mention, for example: the prayer of the Unction (Qandil), and the blessing of new homes.
Blessing of Homes
Our fathers were accustomed, before dwelling in a new home, to ask the priest to bless it and pray for them in it before living in it. For this reason, there is a fixed rite in the church called “The Blessing of a New Home.” If you do not have it, I will print it, God willing, and send it to you…
In this rite, he also prays over water and sprinkles it in the house.
He blesses this water in the name of the Trinity and sprinkles it in the house, in all its rooms, while saying: “Houses of prayer, houses of purity, houses of blessing, grant them, O Lord, to us and to Your servants who come after us forever,” as in the Litany of the Meetings… He also sprinkles the people of the house with the water… He sprinkles the water on the doors and on the walls. He takes care not to sprinkle this water on the floor which they will tread with their feet, since it is water that has been blessed by prayer. He can also sprinkle the water on beds and desks and bless them. But he does not sprinkle it in the bathroom.
The rite of blessing homes can be repeated.
And it is not only for new homes… but for any home, especially if it is the first time the priest visits this home, even if it is old…
There are priests who, as soon as they enter a home, say peace to this house, according to the commandment of the Lord to His disciples (Matthew 10:12–13).
The rite of blessing homes is not limited only to prayer and sprinkling water…
But it is undoubtedly accompanied by a spiritual session with the members of the household. It is not merely a formal visit in which the priest prays and leaves. How difficult it is when some embarrass him—on his way out—by saying: “Do you come, our father, and leave without saying a spiritual word to us?!”
Prayer of the Unction (Qandil)
It differs from the rite of blessing homes in that the priest prays it while fasting.
Likewise, the members of the household whom the priest anoints with the oil of the Unction are supposed to be fasting as well. Therefore, many priests pray the prayer of the Unction in homes during the days of Great Lent, to ensure the fasting of the household.
In general, the Unction may be done on any day, with agreement on the time to ensure fasting. The prayer of the Unction is the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick; therefore, it is originally for the sick. But people have become accustomed to taking its blessing in circumstances other than illness, as happens on the Friday of the conclusion of the Fast, when a general Unction is held for all the people, sick and not sick, and all are anointed with the prayed-over oil.
The prayer of the Unction in homes is an opportunity for visitation and pastoral care of the household in which it is held. It is not appropriate that it be limited merely to prayer and anointing with oil.
We speak of another group whom the priest visits, namely:
Families of the Deceased
It is known that the family of the deceased needs consolation, and also needs care…
From here, it is necessary that the priest visit them to console them. The first visitation is often on the day of death. Then comes the prayer of the third day. Its purpose is also consolation, and reassuring the family of the deceased that their departed one will rise as the Lord Christ rose on the third day. Therefore, the Gospel of the rite of the third day prayer is about the resurrection from the dead…
The consolation of the family of the deceased is not limited to the rite.
Nor is a mere visit on the first day and the third day sufficient; rather, it needs follow-up visits until the atmosphere becomes somewhat normal. Of course, there will be many mourners in the house. Here, it is the duty of the priest to say a word or direct the conversation in a way that benefits everyone…
If the deceased was the head of the household, the matter requires care for his widow wife and his orphaned children, and checking on the management of their affairs after the death of their provider… Certainly, the family needs advice regarding the matters resulting from the death, such as some financial matters in inheritance and pension, responsibility for the household, and the intervention of some members of the extended family.
Other Reasons
Visitation also has other reasons and occasions, including:
- Visiting those who ask the priest to visit them.
It is assumed that he responds to their request. I would like to mention here two notes:
a. That the visit be spiritual, not merely affection or social work.
b. That it does not affect the visitation of others, lest some monopolize the priest and continually ask him to visit them, while others are neglected, so that such repeated visits become a cause of stumbling.
- Visits on certain occasions.
Such as a birthday, or a wedding anniversary, or an occasion of success, or an occasion of travel or return from travel, or any special matter that calls for a visit.
Notes Regarding Visitation
There are some notes that the priest should observe in visitation:
- It is good that visitation be by prior appointment.
So that the family being visited knows the time of his visit, in order to prepare for it, and so that it is not connected with another engagement that requires them to leave the house because of it. They also prepare by gathering the family together during the visit, so that the priest can visit all members of the family together. They are also prepared mentally regarding what they will present to the priest in terms of matters.
This prior appointment for visitation may be arranged through the priest meeting some family members in church, or through a phone call, or by sending a deacon, or through a committee in the church that organizes visitation.
A visitation appointment can be arranged even if it is for a patient in a hospital.
It may not be necessary to set an appointment in exceptional cases, such as a disaster or an accident, but this exception should not be considered a rule.
- The time of the visit does not require hospitality arrangements.
The visit is a spiritual visit; the priest should not associate it with hospitality arrangements for him, lest the matter shift from a spiritual context to a social one.
Hospitality matters also do not help the priest to visit a greater number who need care, because hospitality delays him. Moreover, the visit may embarrass some poor families or some individuals who are unable.
- In visitation, the time and the nature of the occasion should be observed.
For example, it should not be during students’ exam periods or their preparation for exams, lest it distract them from their studies and the priest be responsible for this distraction. If he visits them during that period, let it be a visit merely for prayer for them and encouragement. The visit should not last more than a few minutes.
Even in other occasions, the time and its importance for each family member should be considered…
- Visitation should not be in the absence of the head of the household.
Nor should it be without his knowledge. If the wife is in urgent need of a private session with the priest in the absence of her husband, to explain a problem with him, for example, then let that spiritual session be in the church; this is much better.
Unless the husband himself is traveling and has asked the priest by phone or message to visit his family and care for them in his absence. There is no objection to this, provided that the visitation is for all family members together.
- Visitation should have practical results.
So that family members feel that the priest has begun to take practical steps for their sake, whether in enrolling children in Sunday School and young men and women in youth meetings, baptizing those who need baptism, arranging confessions, and solving problems that need to be solved…
- In visitation, it is good for the priest to be accustomed to giving.
He gives a Gospel, or an Agpeya, or a spiritual book, or an image, or some crosses or icons, or a gift on an occasion.
His concern in visitation should not be to take. This is not fitting.
[1] Article: His Holiness Pope Shenouda III, “Pastoral Care (11) – Visitation,” Watani, August 20, 2006.For better translation support, please contact the center.
