Out of the depths I have cried to You, O Lord
We contemplate today the first of the Psalms of Sleep:
“Out of the depths I have cried to You, O Lord; O Lord, hear my voice. If You, O Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? For with You there is forgiveness. For Your name’s sake I have waited for You, O Lord. From the watch of the morning let Israel hope in the Lord. For mercy is from the Lord, and great is His salvation” …
Out of the depths I have cried to You, O Lord¹
+ Out of the depths:
The phrase “out of the depths” carries many meanings, the first of which is: from the depth of the heart…
From the depth of my heart I cried to You, O Lord; from the depth of my feelings, from the depth of my emotions. From the depth of my being, from within me, I cried to You, O Lord. It is not a prayer of the lips, nor a superficial prayer; it is from the depths.
The phrase “out of the depths” may also mean: from the depth of need…
I cry to You, O Lord, from the depth of my need. I am in need of You. I am unable to lead myself, and unable to save it. My will is dissolved, and my desire toward good is weak. I cried to You while truly in need of Your help. Because of my inability I cried to You; so hear my voice.
The phrase “out of the depths” may also mean: from the depth of sin…
From the depth of the fall and the loss. I am not on the edge of sin, but rather in its depths, and from these depths I cried to You; so hear my voice. I am like a drowning person who cries with all his strength toward a lifeboat, with all his need, all his helplessness, and all his loss.
The phrase “out of the depths” may also mean: from the depth of faith…
I cry to You while trusting You, believing that You are able to save me. And from the depth of this faith I asked You. You alone are able to snatch me from what I am in.
It was said about me in another psalm: “I looked on my right hand and saw, but there was no one who knew me. Refuge failed me; no one cared for my soul. I cried to You, O Lord; I said, ‘You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living’” (Ps. 141).
I have no savior but You. The sea is before me, Pharaoh behind me, and I cry to You, O Lord; so hear my voice.
I do not say that I call upon You or ask You; rather, I cry to You. And crying indicates the greatness of the need and the greatness of the helplessness…
+ O Lord…:
We notice here that he repeats the phrase “O Lord” several times:
“Out of the depths I have cried to You, O Lord; O Lord, hear my voice. If You, O Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand?”
Truly, “the name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.” Thus David said to Goliath: “I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts.” How beautiful is the saying of the doxology: “Your name is sweet and blessed in the mouths of Your saints,” a name upon which they meditate day and night.
The word “Lord” has many deep meanings within me…
The word “Lord” gives me the idea of overwhelming power that is able to do all things. It gives me the idea of the deep love with which God has dealt with everyone. The word “Lord” gives me the idea of the all-seeing eye that sees everything…
And the word “Lord” reminds me of the great King who reigns over me.
And here I am crying out to this power, and crying out to this love, and crying out to this eye that sees my humiliation and my need, and crying out to this King to preserve His kingship over me, so that the world may not rule over me…
+ Hear my voice:
Out of the depths I have cried to You, O Lord; O Lord, hear my voice…
For there are those who cry out to the Lord, yet He does not hear them, nor are His ears attentive to the voice of their supplication.
He Himself said: “When you spread out your hands, I will hide My eyes from you; even though you make many prayers, I will not hear. Your hands are full of blood” (Isa. 1).
And He said to Jeremiah the prophet: “Do not pray for this people, nor lift up a cry or prayer for them, for I will not hear you.”
And I also, O Lord, fear that You may not hear me, because my hands are full of blood. I fear that my supplication may not enter into Your presence…
I have prayed six times and have not seen a single cloud, even like a man’s hand, and I fear that my seventh prayer may be lost…
I know that my sins may stand as a barrier between me and Your mercy…
Many “ask and do not receive, because they ask wrongly.” But I am confident that my prayer is according to Your will, for I ask only for forgiveness.
All that I ask is that I be reconciled with You, and that You forgive…
+ To You I cried:
To You, the compassionate and tender, who have not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. But as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is Your mercy toward those who fear You. As far as the east is from the west, so far have You removed our transgressions from us (Ps. 103).
To You, the compassionate and good, I say, O Lord, hear my voice…
For many on earth have not listened to me, so You listen in Your heaven.
Let Your ears be attentive to the voice of my supplication, lest I fall into despair and the cutting off of hope. Do not send me back brokenhearted, bitter in soul…
I ask for attentiveness, not mere hearing, because it is a matter that concerns my entire destiny and my eternal future. I am a refuge-seeker to You, holding fast to the horns of the altar, seeking Your mercy.
+ If You should mark iniquities, O Lord…:
If You were to count my sins, I would not be able to stand before You.
Before You every mouth is stopped, and no one can defend himself.
No living being is justified before You. All have turned aside and become corrupt; all have fallen short of the glory of the Lord. Give me then an opportunity to reason with You: If You, O Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand?
In iniquities I was conceived, and in sin my mother conceived me. In sins I was born altogether.
I am not able to justify myself. If You were to mark the sins of thought, or the sins of the tongue, or of the senses, or of the heart, O Lord, who could stand?!
Fearful is it to fall into Your hands. At Your second coming for judgment, the mountains will melt like wax, and the earth will tremble… They will say to the mountains, “Fall on us,” and to the hills, “Cover us.” Who is able to stand?
As for me, I have nothing but the words of the tax collector: “Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I am a sinner.” I confess my sins, and I have come to You for forgiveness; so hear my voice.
I have come to You because I have heard good news about You. I heard that You said to the woman who was caught in the very act:
“Neither do I condemn you; go in peace.” This phrase encourages me to say to You: “Hear my voice.”
For You did not come to judge the world, but to save the world, to seek and to save what was lost.
+ I have waited for You, O Lord:
“For Your name’s sake I have waited for You, O Lord; my soul has waited for Your law.” For the sake of Your compassionate, forgiving, and loving name, I have waited.
I waited and said to myself: surely the Lord will come to rescue me one day.
If He does not come in the early morning, He will come at midday; He will come at the eleventh hour; at most He will come in the fourth watch of the night. So I have waited for You, O Lord. I know that You will rescue and save, and I await this salvation.
Let me hear that phrase which You spoke by the mouth of the psalmist:
“Because of the oppression of the poor, because of the groaning of the needy, now I will arise, says the Lord; I will set him in the safety for which he yearns.” Yes, arise, O Lord God.
Arise, and let all Your enemies be scattered; let all who hate Your holy name flee before Your face. Draw Your sword, O Mighty One; draw it, prosper, and reign. Arise, fight my enemies and Your enemies, for “the battle is the Lord’s, and God is able to save by many or by few.” By the many, who are the righteousness of the righteous, their determination, strength, and holiness; and by the few, who am I.
You are able to overcome by the many and by the few: You overcome with the muscles of Samson the mighty, and also with the sling of the child David; You overcome with the intellect of Paul the philosopher, and also with the ignorance and simplicity of Peter the fisherman; You overcome with the sword of Joshua and with the staff of Moses.
For Your name’s sake I have waited for You, O Lord—Your name which is Emmanuel, meaning “God with us,” and Your name Jesus, which means “Savior.”
I have waited for You as the barren Sarah waited until she bore Isaac, while You sang in her ears Your beautiful song: “Sing, O barren, you who have not borne” (Isa. 54).
I, O Lord, will not despair of Your salvation. I will not despair of Your coming one day, leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills, walking upon the sea, upon the wings of the wind, accomplishing salvation openly.
I watch for Your coming, and from it I take hope for myself and consolation for my heart. I leave with You, O Lord, the matter of my dissolved will, my sinful desire, my weakness and defeat, and I remember Your power. It is Your power that will overcome.
For I will not fight by my own will, but I will fight by You, by Your power.
Therefore, for Your name’s sake, I have waited for You, O Lord. My soul has waited for Your law, from the watch of the morning until the night, from the beginning of my life until I close my eyes in a night without end. I have waited for You; do not send me back empty, for I trust in You.
Your love, Your promises, and Your past dealings with me have encouraged me to this patience.
I will not be concerned with Satan. He discourages me: “Many say of my soul, ‘There is no salvation for him in his God.’” “But as for me, I trust in Your mercy; my soul shall rejoice in Your salvation.”
“I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the Lord sustained me. I will not fear tens of thousands of people who have set themselves against me all around” (Ps. 3).
For mercy is from the Lord, and great is His salvation.
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An article by His Holiness Pope Shenouda III in Al-Keraza Magazine, Sixth Year – Issue Twenty-Nine, 18-7-1975.
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