How to Deal with People
How to Deal with People[1]
There are many ways by which you can succeed in dealing with people and win their hearts, and thus lead them with love in a spiritual way, and as the Scripture said, “He who wins souls is wise.”
1- Fulfill for people in your life the ideals that they desire.
2- Be detached from what is in people’s hands, and people will love you. Do not make others feel that you are taking toward them the position of a competitor, who wants to take possession of what is in their hands, or what they want to obtain.
3- Bear with others in the time of their weakness or in the time of their mistake, and win them through patience, forgiveness, and breadth of heart; for there is no doubt that he will regret what he has done wrong to you when he is alone with himself.
4- Praise people, and make them feel your appreciation for them, and that every good thing they do is a matter of your admiration, and is not hidden from you.
5- Respect others, and treat everyone politely, not only the elders among them, or those whom you are obliged to respect, but even the young ones as well, and those who are of lesser age and rank than you.
6- Work on building people, and not on destroying them.
7- Do not be one who frequently rebukes people, and if you are compelled to do so, let it be without hurting them. Do not think badly of people, and do not try to trap them by an action or by a word, and do not make them feel that you are taking toward them the position of a critic or the position of an enemy.
8- Excuse people and defend them as much as you can, in the manner of truth, not in the manner of hypocrisy, and according to what the situation can bear, in a sound way in which there is neither hypocrisy nor flattery at the expense of truth.
9- Give continually and spend. And if you cannot give someone assistance, offer him a kind word, or a gentle smile, or a deserved compliment, and fulfill your duty toward everyone without negligence.
10- Treat people with humility and meekness, with tenderness and gentleness, for gentleness is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit, as the Apostle said (Gal. 5:22).
11- Understand people, and make them understand you calmly and with a good spirit. Thus, live with them in mutual understanding, with love and calmness.
12- Enter into relationships of mutual emotional participation, “rejoicing with those who rejoice, and weeping with those who weep.” Do not let an occasion that brings joy to people’s hearts pass without sharing in it.
[1] An article by His Holiness Pope Shenouda III in El-Keraza Magazine, ninth year, issue twenty-nine, July 21, 1978.For better translation support, please contact the center.
