Gentleness and Not Violence
Gentleness and Not Violence
Among the mistakes into which some clergy fall is violence.
The priest may deal with his flock violently. It may be physical violence such as hitting or insulting—since there is a small minority who behave this way. Or it may be violence in speech, using harsh or severe expressions. He may clothe his violence in a garment of extreme strictness which in reality is violence—just as happened with the scribes and Pharisees who “bind heavy burdens, grievous to be borne, and lay them on men’s shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers” (Matt. 23:4).
But because the priest does not want to be described as violent, he calls his violence a defense of the truth, or a defense of values, or a form of strictness!
Yet in his violence he loses many of those with whom he behaves in this way.
The Lord Christ was not violent, but dealt with others with kindness.
- He was not violent in leading the Samaritan woman to repentance, but drew her gently to confession by saying to her: “Thou hast well said, I have no husband… This hast thou said truly” (John 4:17–18). And the woman believed and repented.
- He was not violent in dealing with Nicodemus who came to Him by night for fear of the Jews (John 3:1–2). He did not rebuke him for his fear.
- The Lord Christ was not violent with His disciples who could not watch with Him one hour in Gethsemane, but said to them kindly: “The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak… Sleep on now and take your rest” (Matt. 26:41, 45).
- He was not violent with His disciple Thomas who doubted His Resurrection, but showed him His wounds and said: “Be not faithless, but believing” (John 20:27).
- He was not violent in His rebuke of His disciple Peter who denied Him three times, but said to him in gentleness: “Simon, son of Jonah, lovest thou me more than these?… Feed my lambs… Feed my sheep” (John 21:15–17).
- It was also said of the Lord in His kindness and non-violence that:
“He shall not strive, nor cry; neither shall any man hear his voice in the streets. A bruised reed shall he not break, and smoking flax shall he not quench” (Matt. 12:19–20).
Unfortunately, many clergy do break the bruised reed, and do not care for the smoking flax but extinguish it! And they justify this with “holy zeal” and defending God’s commandment! Zeal is good, but the method of execution here is wrong.
Violence repels. Therefore Scripture calls for kindness.
Thus Scripture says: “Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Eph. 4:32). Kindness is placed among the fruits of the Spirit (Gal. 5:23).
God—blessed be His name—was described as kind.
The apostle said: “But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared; not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us” (Titus 3:4–5). And he also said: “Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?” (Rom. 2:4). God did not resort to severity except after all means of kindness and gentleness were exhausted.
Kindness and non-violence fall under the virtues of meekness and humility.
One who is meek and humble cannot be violent.
A priest who expels a girl from Communion because of lipstick on her lips is violent in his behavior, however much he excuses himself by “the reverence of the holy mysteries.” Truly the sacraments have their holiness, but preserving their holiness should not be violent.
Perhaps the priest calls his act firmness and decisiveness. But it is violence.
In this matter I would like to point to the apostle’s words:
“Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. Bear ye one another’s burdens” (Gal. 6:1–2).
This is the Apostle Paul who said to his disciple Timothy the bishop:
“Reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine” (2 Tim. 4:2).
Some remember only the first part of this verse and forget the phrase “with all longsuffering and doctrine.” They forget how Paul said to the elders of Ephesus: “By the space of three years I ceased not to warn every one night and day with tears” (Acts 20:31).
He warned with tears, not with violence.
Here I must draw your reverence’s attention to a phrase used by some violent persons as a pretext: that the Lord Christ was severe when He said: “Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites… ye blind guides” (Matt. 23).
We answer that He behaved with complete gentleness with the scribes and Pharisees—persuading them of the truth and bearing their insults and accusations. But finally He said “woe to you” in the last week—just as He rebuked the Jewish priests and likened them to wicked vinedressers (Matt. 21), and rebuked the Sadducees saying: “Ye do err, not knowing the Scriptures” (Matt. 22:29). Why did He act that way?
It was in the final week. The Lord wanted to rescue the believers from these Jewish leaders before establishing the Church with its new leadership.
He did this after years of calm dialogue and gentleness with those leaders who wanted to destroy His mission, who said He casts out demons by Beelzebub the prince of demons (Matt. 12:24), that He was a sinner and breaker of the Sabbath (John 9:16, 24), and who said to Him: “Thou hast a devil” (John 7:20), and: “Say we not well that thou art a Samaritan, and hast a devil?” (John 8:48).
A firm stance to expose them was therefore necessary…
A priest must avoid violence so as not to cause offense to the Church.
An ordinary person who is violent harms himself. But a priest who behaves violently harms the Church—and perhaps even Orthodoxy itself. What servants and visitors gather with great effort may be scattered by one priest in a moment of anger and violence.
If he says he is correcting a mistake, it must be done without violence.
There must be avoidance of violence in dealing with everyone—especially children, who love to look at the priest with reverence as a symbol of tender fatherhood; and also in dealing with the poor and needy, who are often harshly scolded by clergy or workers in social service and suspected as cheaters or impostors, and are treated harshly… Violence stumbles them away from the Church and its workers at a time when they seek compassion and love.
Violence against the weak—who cannot respond in kind, or do not have the courage to—is a violence of greater responsibility.
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