A Candidate for the Priesthood
A Candidate for the Priesthood
Question
I am a candidate for the priesthood, and I would like to know the qualities of the girl whom I should marry, and who would be suitable to be a priest’s wife.
Answer
First: the expression “a candidate for the priesthood” is one thing, and the expression “you will be ordained a priest” is something else.
For you know that a meeting is held for the selection by the people, during which the names of the candidates are presented, and the people choose whomever they wish. It is possible that their choice may fall on you, or it may not. Therefore, the matter is not yet certain.
Then suppose that the people approve of you, but the bishop of the diocese does not approve your ordination for certain reasons. What would your position be then?
If you have received a definite promise from the bishop that you will be a priest, and the people also want you and will choose you, there still remains one point:
The girl whom you marry must agree that she will be the wife of a priest.
For many girls do not accept this, because they see that the priest will be burdened with responsibilities and will have little time left for his home.
They see that he will be a husband belonging to the “public sector”, not the private sector.
That is, all the people have a share in him and have a claim upon him. He does not belong exclusively to his wife in all his time and all his concerns.
Therefore, the approval of the woman whom we are to marry is very important and fundamental.
This does not prevent, of course, the fact that many girls who love service and the Church are happy for one of them to become the wife of a priest, because in this way she will continually remain in the atmosphere of service and the atmosphere of the Church. She will also share with her husband in the work of ministry and be for him “a helper comparable to him” (Gen. 2:18).
However, the Church’s canons place many conditions upon a priest’s wife.
For she is not an ordinary woman, but a partner to the man who shepherds the people. If she helps maintain the peace and tranquility of her home, he will be at ease in his ministry. But if she troubles his mind and exhausts his nerves, this will also be reflected in the ministry. Likewise, she should be an example to the other women of the congregation and be a virtuous person who raises her children well.
There is also an important point that you should notice:
Marriage immediately before the priesthood also has its consequences.
The Scripture requires that the priestly father be one who has ruled his own household well, having children in submission and obedience. For if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the Church of God? (1 Tim. 3:4–5).
A man who marries recently and is then ordained a priest does not possess this experience in managing his household and raising his children.
Consequently, he lacks this experience and does not fulfill this requirement.
In general, although every wife should fulfill spiritual and social qualifications, the wife of a priest should possess these qualifications in a deeper and stronger manner. In the Old Testament there are conditions for the priest’s wife, and likewise in the canons of the Church.
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