Visitation
Visitation
Visiting the sick
There are two kinds: the sick who are at their homes, and the sick who are in hospitals. And perhaps there is a third kind, which is the sick who are treated abroad. These surely rejoice very much when the father priest sends them a message to reassure them, or a telephone call, or a word through a traveler asking about their health and the progress of the treatment.
Visiting the sick is very beneficial spiritually and psychologically.
A person generally — in the state of illness — is close to God, seeking His mercy and asking for prayer for healing. He has a heartfelt readiness for repentance and life with God. Thus his visit is not only for his bodily health, but also for his spiritual benefit, with a good word said to him that is profitable for his life.
And the visit to the sick is not only to call on him and check on him, but it is also appropriate to anoint him with oil and pray for him.
And his anointing with oil should not be in a routine manner.
I mean a manner in which he does not feel the effectiveness of the unction. Rather, it is accompanied by prayers from the depth of the heart which you can say aloud so that he hears: “Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord; and the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up; and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him.” (James 5:13, 15). And also what is said about the Lord Jesus: “And when the sun was setting, all they who had any sick with various diseases brought them to Him; and He laid His hands on every one of them and healed them.” (Luke 4:40). And likewise what is mentioned in (Matthew 10:7, 8) “And when the sun was setting, all they who had any sick with various diseases brought them to Him, and He laid His hands on each one of them and healed them.”
You can also add to all of this prayers of your own. Then anoint with oil with dignity and calm, and anoint the sick person with oil and offer a good prayer for him, and make him feel your love and concern, with a cheerful countenance.
Make the sick person feel your love for him and your care for him.
Be sure that your visit to him in his illness will have an effect on his psyche, so that when he recovers from his illness he will come to thank you. He may become attached to the church and its gatherings because of your care for him during his illness.
There are poor sick people who need financial help; it is appropriate that you offer it to them.
Indeed there may also be sick people of moderate means or even comfortable circumstances, but the costs of the illness have exhausted them greatly, and they need financial contribution, and it can be done quietly without embarrassment, such as the church paying the hospital the treatment costs or part of them without anyone knowing. Or with an ordinary poor sick person, one can take the prescription and bring the medicine for him. And how easy it is to say to the sick person cheerfully, “Let us take the blessing of getting the medicine,” “at least let us pray for him”…
In some cases, the sacraments may be administered to the sick.
Some patients request this blessing themselves, or their relatives request it for them. Or the father priest may suggest that he visit the sick person and give him Communion — provided that the sick person feels that Communion is a blessing for him and helps his healing. Because some patients may be distressed and think that Communion is only brought when death is near!!
In the case of Communion, the patient should be informed of the time so that he prepares himself spiritually, at least with repentance and clearing his heart before God. He should also prepare by fasting as much as his treatment circumstances allow.
Administering Communion to the sick has a special rite, which is not the place to detail now.
At least the priest reads the patient’s absolution. He says the confession at the conclusion of the Divine Liturgy (and it may be in the Coptic language if it is a public hospital). Then he gives Communion to the patient and dismisses the Communion.
Visiting absentees
If the priest visits all the people in general, then the visitation of absentees has a special priority and special importance.
The absentees sometimes have a special sensitivity.
For one of them may say: “I was absent for a long time, and no one from the church asked about me, and no one cared for me!” And you may not visit him, while someone from another denomination visits him, and he compares!! This may have an effect on him.
Those absentees whom you should visit are of types:
Some have been absent from the church altogether, or absent from meetings they used to attend, or absent from Communion, or absent from Confession, or from important occasions.
The important thing is that you notice that he is absent.
The Lord Jesus the glorious was able to notice one who was missing whom He did not see among a hundred in His fold (Luke 15). The priest who cares for his flock, for each one, is able to notice the absence of so-and-so: either during Communion, or from his confession register, or during his distribution of the blessing loaf (the eulogia). Or from the absence of this person from his responsible duties in the church. Or from his not being in the seat he used to sit in, or through some servants or deacons who inform the father priest of absentees so that he may visit them. Or because the person deliberately absented himself after a quarrel with one of the church workers…
If you do not visit this absentee, perhaps the devil will visit him!!
And it is known about the devil that he is an opportunist. Or the absentee may be visited by bad companions who lead him astray. Or problems may visit him, or troubling thoughts that burden him because you did not visit him…
And his absence may be due to a state of spiritual cooling, which may last or deepen if no one rescues him from it. Or he may be ill and needs someone to visit and inquire about him according to the Lord’s commandment (Matthew 25:36, 43). Or he may have a problem and needs someone to stand by him in it… Or his absence from the church may be the beginning of a worse development… The important thing is that his visitation is a necessity of great importance.
Some priests have, in their church, a visitation committee.
This committee informs him of who is absent and their circumstances: Is he traveling, or sick, or distressed?? Or does he have a problem? Or has he begun to deviate? Or was he lured by another denomination? Or are family reasons preventing him? Or work or time reasons? Or did an accident befall him? Or did he fail an exam and feel ashamed to come to church, or is he affected because God did not help him (in his opinion)!! We said that the father priest visits the sick, the absentees, and those in distress. Who else?
Those with problems
These are certainly known to him: either because they presented written or oral complaints to him, or news reached him about them, or they approached the social service committee. Or they have family problems that reached the clerical council. Or they have financial problems. Or some disasters happened to them.
He does not only visit these; rather, he mostly works to solve their problems.
He stands by them in their distress and carries for them all that he can carry. And he says as the Lord the glorious said: “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28). He should also pray for them, that God intervene and solve their problems.
What deep prayers the priest offers at midnight:
For everyone, and with amazing varied details, and he says in them:
“Save, O Lord, Your people… Save those in affliction and distress and sorrow… strengthen the faint of heart… deliver us, O Lord, from evil trials and the snares set, visible and invisible… remember, O Lord, the orphans and the widows, the estranged and the helpless, those who have no one to remember them… and those in prisons and jails, those in exile and banishment, the captives and those bound by the chains of rulers and of devils…”
The priest with an open eye and a wide heart deals with the distressed in his people with tenderness and positivity.
He visits them not only by mere visitation, but by working for them. As it is said in Isaiah: he proclaims good news to the poor, he binds up the brokenhearted; he proclaims liberty to the captives and opening of the prison to those who are bound; he comforts all who mourn. (Isaiah 61:1–2).
Just as the priest visits the sick, the absentees, and those in distress and with problems…
So too he visits his people on liturgical occasions:
We mention among these, for example: the Lamp prayer (Qendeel), and blessing new homes.
Blessing houses
Our fathers used to, before they moved into a new dwelling, ask the father priest to bless it and pray for them therein before they lived in it. Hence there is a fixed rite in the church called “Blessing the new house.” If you do not have it, I will print it, God willing, and send it to you…
In this rite he also prays over water and sprinkles it in the house.
He sprinkles this water in the name of the Trinity in the house, in all its rooms, while saying: “Houses of prayer, houses of purity, houses of blessing, be gracious upon us, O Lord, and upon Your servants who will come after us forever.” As in the meeting opening prayers… He sprinkles the people of the house with the water as well… He sprinkles the water on the doors, and on the walls as well. He takes care not to sprinkle this water on the floor that they will walk on with their feet, while it is water blessed with prayer. He can also sprinkle the water on beds and desks and bless them. But he does not sprinkle the lavatory.
The rite of blessing houses can be repeated.
And it is not only for new houses… but for any house, especially if it is the first time the priest visits that house, even if it is old… Some father priests, when they enter a house, immediately say peace to that house according to the Lord’s command to His disciples (Matthew 10:12–13).
The rite of blessing houses is not limited to prayer and sprinkling water…
It is certainly accompanied by a spiritual session with the family. It is not a mere formal visit in which the priest prays and departs. How hard it is that some embarrass him — when he is outside — by saying: “Will you come, our father, and leave without saying us a spiritual word?!”
The Lamp Prayer
It differs from the house blessing rite in that the father priest prays it while fasting.
Likewise the householders whom the priest anoints with Lamp oil are supposed to be fasting also. Therefore many father priests pray the Lamp prayer in homes during the Great Fast, to ensure the fasting of the household. In any case the Lamp can be done any day, by agreement on the time to ensure fasting, and the Lamp prayer is (the sacrament of the anointing of the sick). Therefore it is originally for the sick. But people have become accustomed to taking its blessing even in non-illness circumstances. As happens on the Friday that concludes the Fast, a general Lamp is held for all the people — sick and not sick — and they are all anointed with the blessed oil. The Lamp prayer in homes is an opportunity to visit and care for the home in which it is held. It is not appropriate that it be limited to mere prayer and anointing with the oil. We speak about another group whom the father priest visits, which is
Families of the deceased
It is known that the family of the deceased needs consolation, as well as care…
Hence the priest must visit them to console them. The first visitation usually occurs on the day of the funeral. Then comes the (Third Day Prayer). The intention of it is consolation too, and to reassure the deceased’s family that their departed one will rise as the Lord Jesus rose on the third day. Therefore the Gospel reading of the Third Day Prayer rite is about the resurrection from the dead…
Consoling the deceased’s family is not limited to the rite.
A mere visit on the first and the third day is not sufficient. They need follow-up visits, so that the atmosphere appears almost normal. And of course there will be many mourners in the house. Here the duty of the father priest is to say a word or to lead the conversation in a way that benefits everyone…
If the deceased was the head of the household, it is necessary to care for his widow and orphaned children and to check on the arrangement of their affairs after the death of their provider… Certainly the family needs counsel regarding many matters that follow death, such as some financial matters in inheritance and pension and the responsibility for the household, and the interference of some members of the extended family.
Other reasons
Visitation has other reasons and occasions, including:
1 – Visiting those who request the father priest to visit them.
He is supposed to fulfill their request. I would like to mention here two notes:
a – That the visit should be spiritual, and not merely an act of love or a social work.
b – That it should not affect the visitation of others, so that some do not monopolize the father priest and constantly ask him to visit them while neglecting others. Such repeated visits could be a cause of stumbling.
2 – Visits on certain occasions.
Like a birthday, or an anniversary of marriage, or a success occasion, or an occasion of travel or return from travel, or any special matter that calls for a visit.
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