The Spiritual Priest Is Far from Anger and Irritation
The Spiritual Priest Is Far from Anger and Irritation
The word “nervousness” is taken from the word Nerves. The one who becomes nervous is the one whose nerves ignite in his anger. This is a repulsive sin. The people do not expect it from a priest who is characterized by meekness (Matt. 11:29), nor from a priest who is the image and likeness of God (Gen. 1:27).
Just as the sin of nervousness is repulsive, it is also a revealed sin.
If a priest falls short in his private prayers or in his readings, this is not revealed to people. Likewise, if he sins in thought, in heart, or in intention. But in nervousness, he reveals a weakness within him: an inability to endure, a loss of calmness, and an inability to control himself.
Through nervousness, people are repelled from him, and perhaps from the Church as well.
For the people love to see the priest cheerful, radiating peace.
And the peace within him spreads peace to everyone who sees or hears him. Thus, in all his dealings, they expect from him a spirit of fatherhood, a gentle smile, and words of tenderness and encouragement, and to confront their mistakes with deep calmness—just as if a piece of clay were thrown into the depths of the ocean: the great sea takes it, dissolves it within itself, and presents upon its surface clear water. Thus is the priest in his calmness…
But if people’s souls are disturbed when they collide with his anger, they suffer severe frustration and a scattering with regard to idealism and religion.
Especially if this nervousness is in dealing with children, whom his facial expressions and the tone of his voice during anger frighten; they do not see in him the image of Christ nor the tenderness of fathers. The image of nervousness remains stuck in their minds and may distance them from the Church.
As for adults, they stumble regarding the possibility of practically implementing God’s commandments, if the men of religion themselves do not implement them in their lives.
An angry priest cannot enable people to benefit from his preaching, nor from his prayer, nor do they find rest in confessing to him.
For if he has not triumphed in his spiritual life, has not been able to resist anger, and has not trained himself to bear the weaknesses of others and to acquire the virtues of gentleness and kindness, how then can he lead others spiritually and guide them in acquiring such virtues and others?!…
And how can he say to the people in his prayers, “Peace be with you all,” while he himself has not kept peace in his dealings? He who lacks something cannot give it!!
It is strange that the angry priest tries to justify his anger and philosophize it, and searches for verses from Holy Scripture that call for it!
As if he clings strongly to the saying of the Apostle Paul to his disciple Timothy the bishop: “Reprove, rebuke, exhort” (2 Tim. 4:2), or to his saying in the Epistle to the Hebrews: “For what son is there whom a father does not discipline?” (Heb. 12:7).
Here we say that discipline or rebuke occurs in certain cases that have their importance, and is not a constant trait in the priest that he uses continuously.
Likewise, there is a great difference between firmness and nervousness.
A priest can be firm in certain situations that require firmness, without falling into nervousness, which is a lack of control over the nerves. In the case of firmness, he puts everything in its proper place calmly and without noise, by the power of persuasion, not by the sharpness and elevation of the voice.
Persuasion is more stable and deeper in effect; it is a spiritual method, even though it requires some effort and wisdom in behavior. But some priests prefer to spare themselves this effort, content with the method of command, authority, and harshness!! This method has an unspiritual appearance, and it also has its bad results and reactions…
Among the problems of nervousness is that it contains within it other sins.
First, it is not a good example for people; it does not give them a good model in dealing. In nervousness there is a loss of humility, as Saint Dorotheos said: “The humble person does not anger anyone, nor does he get angry with anyone.”
Nervousness is against cheerfulness and kindness, against meekness and endurance. It is sometimes against love, because “love does not behave rudely” (1 Cor. 13:5).
I can also say that nervousness is against wisdom, for the wise person chooses in his dealings a better method that does not fall into all the previous mistakes…
Of course, all these mistakes are utterly unbecoming of the priestly father.
If the motive behind the priest’s anger is his desire to carry out his own will, insisting on his opinion no matter how correct the other opinion may be, then his anger becomes a double or compounded sin, and his stumbling becomes deeper.
Here also enters into his anger the love of authority, as he feels that whoever opposes him is attacking his authority or dignity, or interfering in something of his jurisdiction, or sharing with him in dominance over the Church. Therefore, he becomes agitated for this reason and gets angry, and may even rage.
The matter of authority may also enter if something is done without consulting him or without his knowledge, no matter how sound it may be! He wants to be in control of everyone in all matters of the Church, and a reference for all actions and procedures, whether spiritual, social, or administrative!
By gripping all authority, he prevents the workers in the Church from freedom of movement.
If they move freely, he becomes angry with them and nervous. By this anger, he makes them angry with him, feeling that in their work within the Church they are greatly constrained by the restraints of authority and threatened by anger that may trouble the consciences of some of them. Some may see fit to withdraw from service in this Church because of the anger of its priest, in order to preserve their inner peace…!
The phrase of the priestly father rings in their ears: “The dissenter is a ruined case,” and one of them takes the title “dissenter” and “ruined,” not because he violated an order, but because he did not consult in every matter and did not enter under the cloak of authority!
Through nervousness he appears before people as a leader, not a father.
If only he were an ordinary leader—but he is a harsh leader. How easy it is to be a tender, gentle father, and at the same time no one denies his leadership in the Church. But—unfortunately—in his clinging to the violence of leadership, he loses the tenderness of fatherhood, loses goodness of heart, disturbs the souls of others, becomes a stumbling block, and his stumbling increases if some imitate him in his method.
By his anger he proves that he does not accept another opinion and does not tolerate discussion.
He may even say to the one who discusses with him and disagrees with him: “Have you reached the point of daring to discuss and oppose your father?!”
Here, whether he feels it or not, feelings of infallibility begin to enter him—his opinion is infallible. Gradually he tries to crush his opponents or humiliate them! Whoever works with him must lose his personality and know nothing but obedience without discussion, or what they call blind obedience! …
Otherwise the mouth of the volcano opens and pours out fire…!
Sometimes the priest calls his anger “anger for the sake of the truth.”
If you are angry, O father, for the sake of the truth, ask yourself first: Is it right to be angry? And what is the method of holy anger? Is holy anger a method of a loud and sharp voice?!
Look then at how God spoke to Elijah while he was fleeing from Jezebel:
“And behold, a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke the rocks… but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire…” and finally “a still small voice,” saying: “What are you doing here, Elijah?” (1 Kings 19:11–13).
Train yourself in this still small voice with which the Lord spoke to His servant Elijah.
If you find your voice rising, say to yourself: perhaps my heart has risen, and my voice rose with it… then fear and humble yourself.
Beware lest your voice gradually rise and turn into noise! You will not be able then to say that it is holy noise!
Do not let people’s relationship with you be summarized in two words: command and obedience… the command from your side and obedience from their side…
A person may obey you out of fear, not out of satisfaction. He may obey while grumbling within himself, and his grumbling may reach others who share it with him.
But if you persuade him, he benefits from you with a new lesson, and his obedience to you springs from his heart, and he can convey his conviction to others.
Also among the difficult matters is for the priest to become angry because of material matters.
or because of personal matters, or due to his insistence on taking over responsibilities carried out by others. Through this anger he reveals feelings or traits in the depths of his psyche that do not agree with the idealism the people expect from him.
The people may then intervene to reconcile the priest or to reform him!!
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