The Servant in the Family
His Holiness Pope Shenouda III speaks about the conduct of the servant inside the family and clarifies the common problem of double personality: a person appears as a gentle example in the church but differs inside the home. The aim is to guide servants to be true servants inside their houses and not merely a show in the church.
Main idea and spiritual dimension
Service is not a title that makes a person superior to his family members, but it is a calling to loving humble service everywhere, especially inside the home. It is not permissible for the servant inside the family to become a strict monitor, sullen, or arrogant, because this repels the household and removes the attractiveness of religion.
Behaviors to avoid
The servant should avoid methods of violence, shouting, insult, and forcibly imposing religiosity on family members. Religion is not presented well if accompanied by pride or a harsh manner; rather it makes people distance themselves from religion.
Characteristics of the servant inside the family
The desired servant at home: cooperative, helps with household chores, orderly, does not burden the household, initiates serving the table, tidying, washing dishes and assisting in teaching younger siblings. This creates love and respect and makes the family proud of him as a role model.
Politeness in speech and wisdom
The servant should be polite in speech, respect everyone, not wound feelings, and not be superior to family. When advice to elders is needed, prefer wisdom and stories and hinting instead of direct confrontation or rebuke. The church teaches virtues and presents them as if the one before them is clothed with them, not as direct criticism.
Love and cheerfulness
The servant in the home must be cheerful and joyful, relieving the overly serious atmosphere with cheerfulness and love, because a cheerful face mends hearts and attracts people to a religious life full of joy. Joy and love are fruits of the Spirit that show the effect of true service.
Order and time management
The servant must balance between church service and the family’s rights and organize his time so that he gives the family part of his time and attention. Organizing times and fulfilling household responsibilities are no less important than public service.
Wisdom in worship and care for health
A warning not to burden the family with exaggerated asceticism or fasting that harms health, but for the person to be wise in worship so as not to be a cause of anxiety for his relatives. Also do not impose details of worship but be a witness through your life.
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