The Priest as a Father of Confession
The Priest as a Father of Confession
Confession is the condemnation of the self before God, in the hearing of the priest.
And the forgiveness in confession is granted by God to the repentant, from the mouth of the priest. Therefore, in confession the confessant comes as a repentant, remorseful because of his sins, confessing these sins. He sits with the father priest, not to tell him stories or relate news, but to mention what he has committed of fault or sin in what he recounts of events.
And confession is a sacrament of the Church; we call it the Sacrament of Repentance. Therefore, it is assumed that the confessants are repentant, offering their repentance to God in the hearing of the priest.
God, then, is an important element in the confession session. And confession is not merely a relationship between the father priest and the confessant.
For all this, I would like to say to the father of confession the following notes regarding the confession session:
The Confession Session:
- The confession session should be calm and reverent, befitting a sacrament of the Church. It is better that it be in the church. But if you are compelled to take it in the confessant’s home, do not listen to confessions while drinking something. And do not let it turn in any way into a social visit…
- Many fathers begin the confession session with prayer and end it with prayer as well. Thus they make the confessant feel the awe of the confession time, and they also ask for God’s presence and His help.
- If the confession takes place in the church, it must not be in a closed room, but in an open place, especially when receiving the confessions of women and girls.
- In the confession session there should not be familiarity between you and the confessant, whatever affection or friendship may exist. Make him feel that he is before God, addressing Him in your presence.
- Do not accustom the confessants to come to your house for confession. The priest’s house has its privacy. It is not yours alone but also your wife’s and your children’s, where they practice their personal lives without being exposed to the confessants, who may comment on whatever they wish! And they may crowd there waiting their turns…!
- Try to help the confessant to reveal what he has. And it is fine to direct some questions that serve as aids to confession, but not in a way that opens his mind to things he does not know…
- Do not be content with hearing sins; you should ask him also about the positives—regarding the practice of the means of grace and regarding his spiritual growth.
- Do not rebuke him for everything he says. Otherwise he may fear or be ashamed and withdraw within himself, and not reveal the rest of what he wants to say about his life.
- Do not try in the confession session to pressure the confessant intensely to extract everything he has, for this exhausts him greatly. Confession is a virtue in which the confessant progresses gradually. He may not reveal certain things at first, or may mention them vaguely, or hint at them. When his soul becomes calm, and when he matures spiritually, and when he succeeds in resisting his shame… then he will mention them later.
- It is necessary that you explain to the confessant his mistakes and guide him to a practical and possible way to overcome them.
- Know that the confession session is not merely hearing faults, but also includes the element of guidance: guiding the confessant to the right path he should follow. And it is fine to offer him spiritual exercises suitable to his level and circumstances.
- Do not give one type of guidance to all confessants. What suits some may not suit others. Souls differ in their conditions. And not all confessants are at the same spiritual level. The beginner is not like the growing, nor like the mature…
- Do not involve the confessants in your personal problems. Do not tell them about your troubles with the church council, or with the servants, or with some of your fellow priests… so as not to cause them stumbling. And also because your duty is to carry their burdens and solve their problems, not to involve them in your own burdens or problems!
- In your guidance, do not burden anyone with what is beyond his capacity. For St. Paul himself said to the Corinthians: “As to carnal men, as to babes in Christ, I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not yet able…” (1 Cor. 3:1–2).
- Give hope to the one who has no hope, and open a window of light for the despairing and the weary. And do not pull the fallen downward with rebukes and punishments. Listen to the saying of the Apostle: “Comfort the faint-hearted, support the weak, be patient with all” (1 Thess. 5:14).
- If it is necessary to impose a punishment on a sinner, let it be within his ability to endure, with explanation and persuasion, so that he may feel it is for his benefit and spiritual good.
- In your guidance, do not try to make the confessant a copy of yourself in your spiritual life, walking in your same method. Perhaps his direction in life is not yours, his abilities are not yours, and the nature of his soul is not like yours.
- In the confession session, do not ask the confessant about matters outside the subject of confession in order to know secrets about others, exceeding your role as a father of confession.
- Do not force the confessant into a certain behavior under the priesthood’s authority of binding and loosing. Your work is to guide and persuade, not to force and dominate. God Himself gives us commandments but does not force us to walk in them.
- If the confessant asks you during confession a spiritual or social question whose answer you do not know, do not give him any answer that may not be correct. It is better to postpone the answer until you study the matter carefully. And likewise if he confesses doubts in theological or doctrinal matters, do not give any unconvincing answer. You may refer him to a beneficial book containing the correct answer, or postpone your response until you can study the matter thoroughly.
- Be long-suffering in leading the soul. You may advise the confessant with useful counsel, yet his will or circumstances may not help him to implement it. Do not be angry with him, nor rebuke him harshly, nor be upset with him. Perhaps your patience toward him, and your prayers for him, will help him.
- Be fair in distributing your time among the confessants. Do not allow one of them to take all your time and attention while others do not receive the same care.
- It is good to follow up with the confessant in ensuring his spiritual life and the extent to which he implements the advice and exercises you gave him, and to study with him the obstacles he faces and how to overcome them.
- Ask about the one who has been absent from confession sessions. Let him feel your care, and check on him…
For better translation support, please contact the center.
