The Ideal Family
The Ideal Family
The Importance of the Family
The family is the primary nucleus of society.
The Church must give great attention to the family, in order to raise a spiritual generation that fears the Lord and worships Him in spirit and in truth.
This care should begin from the engagement period and even before it, so that there may be harmony between two spiritual individuals capable of bearing the responsibility of establishing a Christian spiritual home.
The newlyweds should be taught the nature of this new life and its responsibilities, so that they may live in it rightly.
Rights and Duties
Each member of the family has rights, and also duties.
The same Scripture that commands the wife to submit to her husband also commands the husband to love his wife just as Christ loved the Church.
And the same Bible that says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord,” also says, “Do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”
To demand one’s rights without fulfilling one’s duties is a form of selfishness and lack of cooperation. And to demand that the other fulfill their duties without giving them their rights is a kind of humiliation and lack of love.
The Church of the Home
How beautiful are St. Paul’s words in his epistle to the Romans:
“Greet Priscilla and Aquila… and the church that is in their house.” (Romans 16:3, 5)
And to the Colossians: “Greet the brethren who are in Laodicea, and Nymphas and the church that is in his house.” (Colossians 4:15)
And also to Philemon: “To the church that is in your house.” (Philemon 2).
These homes became churches, like the house of Mary, the mother of Mark the apostle (Acts 12:12), and that of Lydia, the seller of purple.
And if you do not have a church in your home, then at least let there be for the Lord a small corner — with an icon, a lamp, and a place for prayer.
Is your home a holy home, where the Lord has His share?
Does it bear the image and spirit of worship?
If the Church is the assembly of believers who worship God in spirit and in truth, then your home is a church in that sense — a place from which prayers and praises rise, and from which incense ascends to God.
If you remember that your home is a church, remember also the Scripture: “Holiness befits Your house, O Lord.”
Love and Trust
For the family to live an ideal life, it must be bound together by love and trust.
Love must unite every member of the family — parental love, filial love, and spousal love.
Love creates an atmosphere of peace in the home, where all feel secure and united in friendship and cooperation.
A home filled with quarrels and strife plants fear in the hearts of children and makes them grow resentful toward married life.
A home without love is filled with suspicion; trust disappears, and peace is lost.
How can this be remedied?
Each spouse should work to strengthen the trust that binds them to their partner — to trust and also to be worthy of trust.
Trust should precede marriage and continue within it.
If one spouse loses trust in the other, their life may turn into doubt and torment.
If doubt arises, it should be treated “with complete honesty and by removing the causes that led to it.”
Suspicion is a psychological illness; if one of the spouses is afflicted by it, it leads to mistrust. But with good intentions, the matter can be resolved — otherwise, through open communication.
Neither spouse should impose surveillance on the other, weighing and judging every word or action.
Let both live simply and lovingly. Let each interpret the other’s actions in a good way and find excuses for their mistakes — for this is the path to happiness.
Suspicion is a fire for both parties; blessed is the one who escapes it. Suspicion is a long and endless story…
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