The Christian Family
The Christian Family
On the occasion of the presence of the Family Committee of the World Council of Churches with us this evening, I would like to speak to you about “the Christian family,” its spiritual formation, its role in building the Kingdom, and the relationships among its members.
The Christian Family
The first family in the world—do you think it was composed of only two parties, a man and a woman, that is, Adam and Eve? No.
Rather, the family is always composed of three parties: God and the two spouses.
Therefore, when the spouses are granted a child, he is a son to the father, a son to the mother, and also a son to God, through baptism and membership in the Church.
Then a fourth party joins the family, namely, the children.
Marriage in which God is not a party is not a holy marriage.
God is a party in it because He is the One who unites the spouses and makes them one in the Sacrament of Marriage by the work of the Holy Spirit, so that they are no longer two, but one (Matt. 19). Therefore, Scripture says: “What God has joined together, let not man separate.” God is the One who married Adam and granted him Eve. And Scripture says: “A virtuous woman is from the Lord.”
As for the children born of marriage, divine inspiration says of them: “Children are a heritage from the Lord” (Ps. 127:3). And the wife who does not give birth asks the Lord to grant her a child, as it is said in the Book of Genesis: “And God opened Rachel’s womb, and she conceived” (Gen. 30:22).
Marriage takes place in the house of God, through the priest, the servant of God. The husband feels that he has received his wife from the Church, from the hand of God, who blessed the marriage and sanctified it. Therefore, the spouses prepare themselves before marriage by confession and communion, in order to become worthy of the work of the Holy Spirit in them in the Sacrament of Marriage.
It is the duty of the priest father to shepherd every marriage and to visit this newly formed family. Indeed, he sanctifies its home with the prayer for the sanctification of new houses, sometimes prays the prayer of the lamp in the house, raises incense there, sprinkles holy water, and anoints the members of the family with oil.
How profound is the saying of Scripture: “But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Josh. 24:15).
Among the most famous holy families mentioned in Scripture is the family of Saint Basil the Great. From it came this saint, Archbishop of Caesarea of Cappadocia, his brother Saint Gregory, Bishop of Nyssa, their brother Saint Peter, Bishop of Sebaste, and their sister Saint Macrina, abbess of a monastery. Their mother was a saint, and their grandmother Macrina the Elder was also a saint and a spiritual guide.
Among the famous Christian families was also the family of Saint Melania the Elder and her granddaughter Saint Melania the Younger.
How many families there were whose members were saints.
It is a beautiful study to gather the lives of saintly mothers and saintly fathers, whether from Scripture or from the history of the Church.
In our books there are countless lives of saints—martyrs, patriarchs and bishops, or monks. But not everyone may take this path, nor may it be available to all.
Therefore, how beautiful it is to gather the lives of saints and saintly women among the married, within the sphere of the Christian family, to be examples whose footsteps are easy to follow.
God has provided us with a large list of this kind in the Holy Bible, but we also want examples from history and from real-life stories.
Some serving young women sometimes fear marriage, lest it distance them from service and from the Church, and their spiritual life becomes lukewarm.
But if these young women see examples of saintly wives, they will not fear marriage.
The Holy Bible presents to us an example of a saintly mother—the mother of Moses the prophet—how he spent about three years with her in his childhood, during which she was able to instill in him all the faith that preserved him from pagan worship in Pharaoh’s palace throughout forty years.
Likewise, the family of Saint Timothy the bishop, to whom Saint Paul the Apostle said: “When I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice” (2 Tim. 1:5).
Among the famous mothers is also the mother of Saint Mark the Apostle (Acts 12:12).
She represents the saintly families who dedicated their homes to be churches.
Her holy house became the first church in the world. In it, the Lord Christ celebrated the first prayer of the Sacrament of the Eucharist and delivered it to the disciples after washing their feet. In it, the Holy Spirit descended upon the disciples, and in its upper room they used to gather, and all the believers came for prayer.
We also mention the family of Lydia, the seller of purple, and her house which became a church; likewise Aquila and Priscilla and “the church that is in their house” (1 Cor. 16:19), whom the Apostle praised, with thanksgiving from all the churches of the Gentiles; and also the house of Nymphas which became a church (Col. 4:15).
All of these were not monks, but holy families whom we remember, and we remember the homes in which God has a share.
This is seen in the shared worship practiced by the family, the sounds of hymns and praises that arise from it, and the prayer meetings that gather the whole family together with the reading of Scripture.
See what the Lord says in the Old Testament: “These words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house” (Deut. 6:6–7).
Are you like this? Does the word of the Lord have a place in your home?
Do your children consider you their first teacher of religion?
Or when they seek religious knowledge, do they go outside the home to seek it in the Church and in Sunday School, feeling the estrangement of their parents from this religious sphere? If you were to teach your children and deepen them in the faith, they would consider you a father not only according to the flesh, but also according to the spirit.
Which parents fulfill the role of the godparent that they pledged on the day they received their child as a new, pure creation from the baptismal font?
The father who teaches his children will find himself compelled to study as well, in order to give them what satisfies them. Thus he benefits spiritually as they do, and he grows as they grow with him—and likewise the mother.
I admire the mother of Samuel the prophet, who did not withhold him from God, but rather offered him to Him, clothed him with a beautiful robe, and delivered him to the priest and the temple.
Do you also rejoice in dedicating your children to the service of the Lord?
At the beginning of the Old Testament, the Law said: “Consecrate to Me all the firstborn, whatever opens the womb” (Exod. 13:2). Thus every household had one who was the Lord’s portion, consecrated to God. How beautiful this is.
But now, how severe are the difficulties faced by those who seek consecration, and the pressures they encounter from their parents to prevent them from this spiritual path—whereas if they sought the life of the world, their parents would rejoice in them!
We want our Christian homes to be a spiritual source for our children.
For they receive their first lesson in the love of God, and their first practical training in living life with Him and in attachment to the Church and her sacraments.
Parents are supposed to be an example for the home in every good work, and a good model of a virtuous life. From them, children absorb religion by way of transmission before they learn it by way of instruction.
We want examples like Macrina, Melania, Monica, and Jochebed.
We want a home governed by the unity of the Spirit and the virtues of the family: love, cooperation, a spirit of service, giving and sacrifice, shared worship, respect and honor for all, and the تحمل of faults.
See how it is said among the qualifications of a priest that he must have “managed his own house well” (1 Tim. 3:4). This good management is spiritual management before anything else.
It is astonishing that many mothers and fathers care for their children’s physical health and their academic future, without caring for their souls.
Yet God will ask you about your children on the last day and say to you: I delivered them to you as a pliable dough in your hands—into what form have you shaped them? Consider the saying of Scripture:
“But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Josh. 24:15).
“Here am I and the children whom God has given me” (Heb. 2:13).
This is the holy home that has a spiritual character, of which we say that God is in its midst, because He said: “For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them” (Matt. 18:20).
Each person in it draws the other upward. If one of the household falls, he quickly rises, ignited by the warmth of his relatives.
Here we distinguish between the fine line separating tenderness and firmness. There is faulty tenderness, in which there is harmful indulgence. There is faulty firmness, in which there is harshness and violence. But sound management lies between the two: tenderness with wise love that lifts upward, and firmness with love as well, that prevents falling—“Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Prov. 27:6).
As I said before, I wish that we would establish a school for marriage.
Marriage also needs preparation. Those who are new to it need to learn life and to be instructed in what is good before they come to know it through harsh experience, perhaps after the opportunity has passed.
They need to learn the nature of the relationship between the engaged couple, the manner of dealing between spouses, the way to solve problems that may arise, the nature of financial dealings within the family, the method of raising children, the type of relationship with relatives, neighbors, and friends, and how to preserve the spiritual life.
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