Silence and Speech – 2
We explained in the previous issue how there is a time to speak and a time to be silent. And we said that God did not create the tongue without benefit, but rather that there are benefits for speech, to the extent that we are sometimes judged for our silence, and we explained examples of beneficial speech, such that if a person knew how to speak, his speech would be a great source of blessing, especially speech in which a person feels that God has placed His words in his mouth…
Today we continue our talk on “silence and speech”…
Silence and Speech – 2–1
The benefits of silence:
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Silence is a negative state, and good speech is a positive, constructive state.
And because most people do not know how to speak in an ideal manner, they take silence as a preventive method by which they avoid the mistakes of the tongue. Saint Arsanius said:
“I have often spoken and regretted it, but about my silence I have never regretted.”
Speech is not a sin in itself, but the mistake is that a person does not master speech. Therefore the saints preferred silence because it is more secure. -
Silence also gives a person the chance to think before he speaks.
And in this the Scripture says: “Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath” (Jas 1:19). For spontaneous and quick speech is prone to error because it lacks a large element of thought. Therefore it is good that a person be slow in speech until he prepares himself and thinks about what he ought to say…
And he does not speak unless he feels that his words will be beneficial, without error, that they are from God, and that the motive for speaking is good.
How often we say a word and regret it. Therefore it is better that we slow down and think before uttering a word, because the word we speak is hard to take back, and we will account for it…
And we also remain silent until we are sure of our interlocutor’s point of view. -
Silence also gives a person the chance to pray…
In it we ask God to give us the good word that is from Him and not from our human thinking, or to give us silence if that is a better response than speech. -
Therefore we find that those who trained themselves in silence, when they spoke, their words were few but of great benefit:
Saint Arsanius, before his monasticism, was a teacher of the sons of kings, and he was full of wisdom and knowledge, and undoubtedly he spoke well, and yet the words of his that the Paradise of the Fathers recorded for us were few, perhaps not exceeding two pages, he who could have authored many books full of wisdom, because he preferred silence out of love for prayer…
Thus silence for the saints was not an escape from the mistakes of speech, but so that speech would not distract them from being occupied with prayer…
And so when Arsanius was asked about his silence and solitude, he said: “It is because I cannot be occupied with God and with people at the same time”…
Indeed, the saints preferred prayer even over speaking with angels.
We hear of a holy monk who was walking in the desert, and two angels appeared to him, one on his right and the other on his left, and he did not turn toward either of them. And he said within himself: “Who shall separate me from the love of Christ? Neither angels nor principalities” (Rom 8).
Those saints had no time for speech, yet their few words were very beneficial and concentrated, almost as though they were a book in a phrase.
Their few words required much time to understand the great depth in them…
And because of their little speech, people longed greatly to hear them… And they were wholeheartedly ready to carry out every word they heard from them.
People would beg them to speak, and they never grew weary of hearing them. As Solomon the Wise said: “Let your foot be seldom in your neighbor’s house, lest he become weary of you and hate you.”
Truly, he who speaks much, his words become cheap, just as economics says: “When supply increases, demand decreases.” Gold is precious because it is scarce, therefore it is considered among the precious stones and has become expensive…
And thus just as the words of those saints were precious, their silence was also precious. And people learned from their silence just as they learned from their speech.
Their silence was a silent sermon. Yes, not only speech speaks, but silence has a message that people understand and benefit from.
In the story of Abel, we find that the Lord says to Cain: “The voice of your brother’s blood cries out to Me from the ground” (Gen 4:10), so Abel, though dead, still speaks…
The important thing is that we know what qualities our speech should have:
Conditions of good speech:
1- That a person be slow in speech, deliberate and thoughtful.
2- That his words be few, as the wise man said: “Let your words be few” (Eccl 5:2). And he also says: “In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise” (Prov 10:19). Certainly silence is more cautious and less prone to error. And excessive speech may lose the element of discipline and the watchfulness of the mind.
3- That a person speak on the occasions suitable for speech:
He says the word in its time and in its proper season, like one who plants seed in its due time. The wise man says: “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver” (Prov 25:11), and also: “A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, and a word spoken in due season, how good it is!” (Prov 15:23).
4- That speech be with wisdom:
Saint Paul the Apostle said: “We speak wisdom among those who are mature, yet not the wisdom of this age, nor of the rulers of this age who are coming to nothing, but we speak the wisdom of God in a mystery” (1 Cor 2:6).
This condition of wisdom is among the conditions of good speech, and it is also a gift of the gifts of the Holy Spirit.
For the Apostle says: “For to one is given the word of wisdom through the Spirit, to another the word of knowledge through the same Spirit” (1 Cor 12:8).
This wisdom includes the type of speech, the timing of speech, and other matters.
When the Lord Christ, to Him be the glory, was approached by the rich young man asking Him about the way of salvation, the Scripture says: “Then Jesus, looking at him, loved him” (Mark 10:21). Why? “Because he spoke wisely”…
And David rejoiced in Abigail when she spoke with wisdom (1 Sam 25).
5- Among the conditions of good speech is that a person should speak the word of truth:
“Rightly dividing the word of truth” (2 Tim 2:15). And although this applies to shepherds, it also applies to each one of us.
A person may object that if he speaks the truth he may suffer, and we answer him: If you speak the truth and endure hardships and pains because of it, this will be a crown for you, “If you suffer for righteousness’ sake, blessed are you.” And thus the apostles and prophets endured and were crowned.
But if you cannot speak the truth, at least do not flatter falsehood nor portray it as truth. For Scripture says: “He who justifies the wicked, and he who condemns the just, both of them alike are an abomination to the Lord” (Prov 17:15).
Scripture says: “Have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them.” If you cannot expose the works of darkness and fear their power, at least do not flatter them and praise them. Here silence is an intermediate stage between the positive situation of good speech and the wrong situation of flattering and hypocritical speech.
6- Among the conditions of good speech is also that it be with etiquette:
Many, under the name of bearing witness to the truth, go beyond the bounds of etiquette and propriety, and they speak hurtful words that wound the feelings of people and present a picture of a proud, arrogant truth, a repulsive picture…
But Scripture says: “If a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness” (Gal 6:1), “in the meekness of wisdom.” Therefore a person can bear witness to the truth in humility, in politeness, with propriety, and in a manner that makes people love the truth.
Scripture says: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Prov 15:1). It is possible that all your speech is true and upright, but its manner is harsh, and it is a hurtful word; therefore it is not accepted. Not because it is wrong, but because the manner in which it was spoken is hurtful…
Thus your speech must be truthful, and its manner free from contempt, pride, and domination, as Scripture says: “Do not speak with a stiff neck” (Ps 75:5).
Two people may command you to do something: you may be willing to listen to one of them and recoil from the other because he speaks with pride, for hurtful speech stirs anger. How easy it is to say the same meaning in a gentle manner…
There are people whose speech is like stoning with rocks; therefore it never bears fruit, no matter how right they may be, because it is repulsive…
The Lord Christ, in His gentleness in speech, would sometimes rebuke indirectly: in the parable of the wicked vinedressers, Scripture says: “Now when the chief priests and Pharisees heard His parables, they perceived that He was speaking of them” (Matt 21:45). He did not strike directly, but spoke calmly, and let him who understands, understand. Thus let a person speak the word of truth, but with etiquette, propriety, and wisdom.
He who speaks with wisdom can win people and convince them. And Scripture says: “He who wins souls is wise” (Prov 11:30).
Saint Paul the Apostle knew how to win people with his speech; therefore he said: “For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more. And to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the law, as under the law, that I might win those who are under the law; to those who are without law, as without law (not being without law toward God, but under law toward Christ), that I might win those who are without law. To the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some” (1 Cor 9:19–22).
I hope that we will have a broader opportunity to speak about:
“The manners of speaking with people and how to win them in our conversations.”
We also need to follow the conditions of good speech and speak about speech with humility, with meekness, with calmness… and its other qualities.
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Article by His Holiness Pope Shenouda III – Al-Keraza Magazine – Seventh Year (Issue Four) 23–1–1976
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