Personal status and established rules
His Holiness Pope Shenouda III presents in this lecture a clear explanation of the fixed rules of personal status concerning marriage and divorce from a Coptic Orthodox ecclesial perspective. The spiritual essence is that marriage is a religious sacrament performed by the church through the work of the Holy Spirit, therefore it has spiritual and legal regulations that protect the sanctity and continuity of the relationship.
Main idea of the lecture
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Marriage is understood as a religious marriage: “What God has joined together let no one separate,” and it is carried out through the church by the priestly sacrament, not as a civil contract or “customary marriage.” The church does not recognize civil marriage or customary marriage as a substitute for the holy marriage.
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There are kinship and relation impediments stated in the Holy Bible (Book of Leviticus) and in church canons, including prohibitions such as marrying the sister of the wife or the sister of the husband, because the two become one and relatives transfer accordingly.
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Preconditions for entering marriage: the person about to marry is either a virgin, a widower, or a divorcee; each case has its proofs and documents (marriage certificate, death certificate, or certificates proving singleness).
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In the case of divorce: the divorced person is referred to the clerical council to examine the reason for the divorce and its conformity with the teaching of the Holy Bible; he is not permitted to marry if the reason for the divorce does not conform to Christian teaching.
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The scriptural justification for divorce is adultery, with mention of other separation cases referred to in the apostolic letters (such as difference of religion).
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The engagement is recorded as a protocol (engagement record) and is not a final contract; one may retract from it before marriage. There are fixed and non-fixed gifts during engagement; the one who breaks the engagement forfeits the ring and fixed gifts while the other party has the right to take them.
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It is required to announce the engagement and marriage in the church and for a period of time (a reminder of not less than two weeks usually) so that there is an opportunity to raise any objections such as impediments or deception. Announcement, witnesses, and the two agents are necessary because marriage is a permanent relationship that requires societal recognition and testimony.
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A warning against manipulating values (such as undervaluing the ring for tax purposes) because that causes problems in disputes or when breaking the engagement.
Spiritual and educational dimension from a Coptic Orthodox perspective
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Emphasis that marriage is a sacrament and a revelation of the work of the Holy Spirit in family life; therefore it must not be reduced to a mere civil or customary procedure.
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Preserving the sanctity of the relationship by respecting kinship prohibitions and adhering to church conditions protects the family from moral and legal disorder.
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The church’s responsibility and clerical education play roles in evaluating difficult cases (such as divorcees or those who changed their religion) so that spiritual truth and ecclesial conscience are observed, not only civil laws.
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Stressing transparency and honesty (state of status claims, witnesses, and announcement) as part of familial and social justice and protecting marriages from deceit.
Brief conclusion
The lecture calls for respecting the sacrament of marriage and adhering to the church’s regulations as a spiritual and legal protection for marital relationships, and clarifies the church’s procedures in engagement, marriage, and divorce while affirming that divorce is acceptable only for certain reasons that conform to the teachings of the Gospel and the church.
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