Personal Status – Engagement and Marriage
Personal Status (1)
Engagement and Marriage
We say “marriage contract” and “engagement record,” because engagement is not a contract but a promise of marriage, and it can be broken. The one who requests the termination loses the engagement jewelry and fixed gifts. Therefore, to prevent the fiancé from stalling and prolonging the engagement for years until his fiancée loses hope and requests to break it—thus losing the jewelry and fixed gifts—it is wise to set a maximum limit for the engagement period, recorded in the engagement document, making it binding.
Whoever exceeds this period without a compelling reason is considered at fault and forfeits the jewelry and gifts.
The engagement period is a time for mutual acquaintance, confirming compatibility of character, and ensuring the possibility of shared life, as well as strengthening bonds of friendship and affection that form a firm foundation for a stable marital life. It is not right for this period to be wasted in superficial emotions or mere preparations for furnishing a house without the two fiancés truly knowing each other.
Before the Engagement
The priest must, before conducting the engagement, verify whether each fiancé is single, divorced, or widowed.
If divorced, he must refer the case to the Ecclesiastical Council to determine whether the divorce aligns with the Gospel’s teaching. Engagement cannot proceed without a written permit from the Ecclesiastical Council, followed by authorization from the relevant ecclesiastical authority.
If widowed, the person must present a death certificate of the deceased spouse along with the marriage contract to confirm that the certificate pertains to the spouse. The priest must also verify that no remarriage occurred after widowhood. If the person is single, it must be confirmed that they have not been previously married.
Marriage Impediments
The priest must ensure before conducting the engagement that both fiancés are free from canonical impediments. These impediments may arise from kinship, affinity, illness, divorce due to adultery, difference of faith, monasticism, or other reasons that will be explained further.
Regarding kinship and affinity, the first two lists of impediments appear in Leviticus (chapters 18 and 20).
For example, marriage with a brother’s wife is forbidden (Lev. 18:16; 20:21), and the Scripture regards it among the abominations that provoked God’s wrath upon the nations (Lev. 18:24–29). The only exception was in the case of a man dying without offspring, where his brother could raise seed for him: “The firstborn whom she bears shall succeed to the name of his dead brother, that his name may not be blotted out of Israel” (Deut. 25:5–6), as affirmed in Matthew 22:23–26, Mark 12:18–22, and Luke 20:27–31.
Thus, no one may marry his brother’s wife on the pretext of raising his brother’s children, for if the brother already had children, the exception in Deuteronomy 25:5 does not apply. Moreover, the intended purpose—raising offspring for the deceased brother—is now impossible.
What is said regarding the prohibition of marriage with a brother’s wife also applies to marrying the wife’s sister. The canonical laws provide numerous references to this.
As for impediments due to illness:
These include impotence, eunuchism, castration, lack of sexual completeness in either party, insanity, and serious contagious diseases such as AIDS, syphilis, gonorrhea, leprosy, and tuberculosis in its advanced stages, among others.
Regarding divorce for reasons other than adultery:
The Gospel forbids it in four passages: Matthew 5:32, Matthew 19:9, Mark 10:11, and Luke 16:18. Any divorce not based on adultery is invalid, and the marriage remains binding. Therefore, one cannot marry a person still bound by a marriage not dissolved according to Gospel teaching.
Difference of religion
is also an impediment, for Christian marriage is between two Christians of the same denomination.
Monasticism
is a vow of celibacy; whoever breaks this vow cannot be granted legitimacy by the Church for doing so.
Other reasons include:
Marriage of a murderer to the spouse of the murdered person, marriage of minors, or marriage to an adopted child.
Marriage Nullity
Nullity is not the same as divorce. Divorce is the separation of an existing valid marriage, whereas nullity means the marriage is unrecognized—as though it never existed. The impediments mentioned above are causes of nullity. Marriage is also null if contracted under coercion, without genuine consent. Thus, the priest must ensure this before performing the marriage.
Marriage is also null if obtained by fraud regarding an essential attribute of one party—such as marrying a woman under the belief that she is a virgin when she is not.
Marriage Dissolution
Marriage may be dissolved for three reasons:
By death (Romans 7:2).
By divorce, whose sole ground is adultery (Matthew 5:32; 19:9; Mark 10:11; Luke 16:18).
By change of faith (1 Corinthians 7:15).
Constructive Adultery
Since actual adultery is difficult to prove in most cases, divorce may be granted on the grounds of constructive adultery—acts that indicate or imply adultery, such as:
A woman becoming pregnant during a period when her husband’s contact with her was impossible due to absence or illness.
The appearance of letters or voice recordings from one spouse to a stranger indicating a sinful relationship.
A wife fleeing with or spending the night with a strange man, not her relative, without her husband’s knowledge, permission, or necessity.
The presence of a strange man with the wife in the marital home or elsewhere in suspicious circumstances.
Sexual perversion.
The husband inciting his wife to commit immorality.
What applies to the woman applies equally to the man. The innocent party is free to remarry after such a divorce.
An article by His Holiness Pope Shenouda III – Al-Keraza Magazine, Year 19, Issues 45–46 (December 13, 1991)
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