He Who Wins Souls Is Wise
He Who Wins Souls Is Wise
Last time we spoke about the subject “He who wins souls is wise,” and we mentioned several means of winning souls. Today we add to them the element of gentleness in dealing with others.
We live in a world hungry for compassion, tenderness, and kind treatment. The Apostle Paul reminded us that gentleness is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit (Gal. 5:22).
How then can a person be gentle in his dealings with people?
He who wins souls is wise.
Do not be critical:
There are people who see in others only black spots and look at them only through dark lenses. Continually they criticize, and by their criticism they lose people…
But the gentle person does not judge much and does not criticize much. And if he does criticize, he does so gently. Therefore he gains people…
The Lord Christ, the Judge of all the earth, who will judge the living and the dead, said: “I did not come to judge the world but to save the world” (John 12:47). If you wish to win people, walk as the Lord Christ did. Instead of devoting yourself to condemning them, work on their salvation.
Instead of judging them, have compassion on them. Instead of rebuking them for their mistakes, help them get rid of those mistakes.
In the story of the sinful woman who was caught in the very act, those who treated her harshly and judged her could not win her. But the Lord Christ, who said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more” (John 8:11), was able to win her soul.
People need an eye that is half-closed, that does not open wide to stare at their mistakes. They need an eye that, if it sees a fault, forgets it…
They need someone who sees the mistake as though he did not see, and hears as though he did not hear. He does not dwell on people’s faults, nor speak about them, nor reproach them with them, nor belittle them because of them… Thus he wins them.
Do not let your eye be open to people’s faults, but open to their virtues.
Believe me, just as people are hungry for compassion and tenderness, they are also hungry for praise and encouragement. The one whom you praise often, you gain; the one whom you encourage often, you gain; the one whose virtues you discover and speak about, you gain.
The method of praise and encouragement:
The person who wins people is the one who sees their virtuous aspects, reveals them, and praises them for them. They then feel his love and appreciation.
Imagine that you are in a meeting attended by a member for the first time, and you introduce him to those present, explaining his talents, abilities, history, and achievements, and showing your joy at his presence. Surely you will gain him, for he will find in you a friend who respects and values him.
But praising people does not mean flattering them. Not at all. Rather, every person—no matter who he is—has a virtue. Discover it and praise it sincerely and faithfully.
The Lord Christ found something good worthy of praise in Zacchaeus the tax collector, in the Samaritan woman, and in the sinful woman who wet His feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. He discovered the jewel buried in the mud, cleaned it, praised it, and thus won it. And he who wins souls is wise.
There are many who labor and find no one to appreciate them, who struggle and find no one to encourage them. Lift the spirits of such people, and you will win them.
Like a child who works hard in his lessons and obtains high grades, yet no one at home notices him, so he must himself draw attention to his excellence. How happy such a child is with someone who discovers his success and encourages him, thus winning him…
Do not think that encouragement is only for the young. Adults also need it.
Just as your servant needs encouragement to continue in his sincerity and effort for you, so also your superior needs encouragement to continue his good treatment of you.
The owner of a house is pleased by a word of greeting and appreciation he hears from his doorkeeper, and he says that this doorkeeper is the best he has known—not because of his dedication to work, but because of the good word, praise, and thanks.
People always need a good word that gladdens them, and so they love the one who says it…
The person who has a good tongue, a cheerful face, and good treatment of people can win the whole world and those in it…
Because of people’s need for a good word, God gave them the Gospel, which means “good news,” and the Lord began His Sermon on the Mount with the Beatitudes. The word “Blessed” means both blessing and happiness… The Lord continually encouraged His disciples, even praising the seed that produced only thirtyfold, saying it was good seed, like that which produced sixty or a hundred.
The gentle person who wins people encourages and does not judge much.
The Lord Christ did not judge much, although all people’s sins, hidden and manifest, were revealed before Him and known—even the feelings of the heart, the thoughts, intentions, and suspicions…
If God, who knows all sins with certainty, does not rebuke much, how much more should we, who do not know the full truth, refrain—when much of what we criticize may contain suspicion, doubt, or injustice. We may judge people unjustly, and they will hate us, and we will not win them…
Even if there is a certain fault in people, we can treat it with a good word and win them. How beautiful is the Scripture: “Comfort the fainthearted” (1 Thess. 5:14).
Encourage the young, appreciate the elder, praise the excellent, and do not cause the weak to despair.
The wise and kind person, the winner of souls, distributes words of encouragement and blessing to everyone. He distributes gentle treatment and words of blessing to all. “The mouth that blesses does not curse”.
Take this as an exercise for the coming week, for example: that we do not criticize anyone, even the worst of people, but discover people’s virtues and praise them. Give each person his due: honor to whom honor is due, praise to whom praise is due. We praise people for the good in them without looking at the evil in them, and thus we win them. You can gain people by encouragement and appreciation, and also by humility.
Win people by humility:
People do not love the person who exalts himself above them and speaks to them from above; they love the humble. How true are the poet’s words:
“When my friend became one of the wealthy,
I knew that I had lost my friend.”
That is if his friend’s heart had grown proud and he exalted himself above him. But if he remained as he was, in his love, humility, and simplicity, he would not have lost him. When David the prophet was a leader in Saul’s house, Saul’s servants loved him because “he went out and came in before them” (1 Sam. 18:16), that is, he mingled with them.
The humble person does not overshadow others but gives them opportunity to appear. He does not sweep others aside but acts according to the apostle’s words: “in honor giving preference to one another” (Rom. 12:10). Thus he wins others.
The humble speaker who wins people does not take the whole conversation for himself, but gives others opportunity to speak. He does not interrupt, belittle their opinion, or attack them, but praises the ideas in what they say. He has the virtue of good listening, so people love him for his attentiveness. When he speaks, he says, “I liked so-and-so’s opinion about this,” “Among the beautiful points was what so-and-so said,” “I agree with so-and-so in his opinion”…
The humble person does not ignore anyone or belittle anyone, but respects all; therefore all love him because of his humility.
The Lord Christ humbled Himself and entered the house of Zacchaeus the tax collector. He gave Matthew the tax collector dignity and made him an apostle. He entered the houses of sinners and allowed the sinful woman to touch His feet and wipe them with her hair. He even gave regard to children. Therefore all loved Him, He won all, and led them to the Kingdom.
The wise and humble person also wins people by condescending to their weaknesses.
Among the examples of God’s condescension to human weakness is that He visited Nicodemus at night and secretly, since Nicodemus was afraid of the Jews. The Lord did not force upon him a publicity he could not bear. Thus He won him.
God also condescended to the weakness of the Magi who observed the stars, so He showed them a heavenly sign in the form of a wondrous star in its movement, course, standing, and direction. When they believed, He spoke to them in a dream…
God condescended to all humanity in His Incarnation.
He who condescends to people’s weakness wins them. But he who deals with them from his high tower cannot reach their hearts or their minds.
The philosopher who speaks only in a complex style and does not condescend to simplify his knowledge for people gathers around him only a few of his followers and understanders; he does not win all. But the wise and humble person presents the deepest knowledge in the simplest words, thus winning people and increasing those who understand him.
The Apostle Paul condescended to people in order to win some by all means. He said: “I came not with excellence of speech… not with wisdom of words, lest the cross of Christ should be made of no effect” (1 Cor. 2:1; 1 Cor. 1:17).
The one who trusts in his intelligence, understanding, and good management of matters may dislike people’s ideas and conduct, and so he rebukes them often until he loses them.
He scolds this one, rebukes that one, speaks harshly to another, and advises someone else in a wounding manner. He makes severe comments about their way of thinking and level of understanding, thus losing all because within his heart he compares his intelligence with the weakness of their thinking.
But the humble person wins even those of the least understanding by his prudence, tact, lack of arrogance, gentleness with everyone, and care for the feelings of all.
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