How to Win a Child
How to Win a Child
On the occasion of Children’s Day
How can you win a child?
Through giving, love, making the child feel cared for, loved, respected, and by coming down to the child’s level.
These are methods that are effective with adults as well.
On the occasion of Children’s Day, we would like to speak about how we deal with children and how we win their love. If we understand this, we will also know how to deal with adults and win them over, for many of the methods are shared, and many adults retain the simplicity of children.
So what is the psychology of the child?
How do you gain his love and friendship?
And how do you lead him in the way of God?
1. Giving
The first way to win a child is giving.
We notice that the mother is the first being a child loves. For the child, the mother embodies giving: she gives food from her body, warmth from her embrace, tenderness and love through her affection, and constant care and support throughout life. She provides all his needs.
Likewise, if you want children to love you, be generous in giving and gifts—whether sweets, toys, pictures, crosses, or icons. Mere theoretical love is not enough. Some think that caring spiritually for a child means constantly testing him on prayers and hymns, which may have the opposite effect, making the child fear you and see you as a strict teacher or inspector.
Begin with love and gifts. When the child loves you, spiritual guidance will come naturally afterward, finding the path prepared with love. Giving is not limited to children alone; it also wins adults.
2. Tenderness and Encouragement
Give the child love and affection—a loving word, a gentle touch, a warm hug. The child understands and appreciates these more than words, for he reads expressions and looks better than speech. Harsh looks, constant scolding, or severe treatment cause you to lose the child’s love.
Encouragement, including praise, is a sign of love. Children love those who praise them and see praise as proof of affection. Praise helps the child feel secure about his behavior and encourages him to continue doing good. Ignoring achievements or belittling them harms the child’s self-confidence and confuses him.
3. Defending the Child
You gain a child’s love when you defend him against accusations he cannot answer due to fear or weakness. Your defense is remembered as love. This applies to adults as well.
4. Coming Down to the Child’s Level
Children are delighted when adults speak in a way that suits their understanding, play with them, or share their interests. They prefer lively interaction, movement, and joy. A silent, rigid approach does not attract them.
5. Showing Interest
Children love those who do not ignore them—those who speak with them, entertain them, give them gifts, and make them feel valued and loved.
6. Respecting the Child
Speak kindly without hurting feelings or embarrassing the child in front of others. Call him by his name or a loving nickname. Avoid harsh words, mockery, or insults, for these cause you to lose him.
7. Cheerfulness
Children love cheerful people who make them laugh and feel happy. Constant seriousness frightens them. Cheerful individuals gain the love of children and people alike.
8. Entertainment and Storytelling
Children love stories, especially imaginative and unusual ones. Stories expand their world, increase knowledge, and delight them. Those who can tell engaging stories easily win children’s hearts.
Winning children requires talent, understanding, and patience. Teaching young children is far more difficult than teaching adults, for children require both effort and skill to hold their attention. Whoever can win children with these qualities can also win adults.
Children admire ideals and role models. If they see in you the example they love, they will respect and love you. Loving the child enables you to guide him easily toward loving God.
