Steps on the Road to God – The Last Seat
Steps on the Road to God
I speak to you about another point in the life of humility, which is the last seat. I do not mean “last” in terms of physical location, but in terms of rank and status.
The Last Seat
In humility, a person feels that he is the last of all, that he is less than everyone, and that he deserves nothing. Therefore, he takes the last seat, and this is done out of true humility, based on a true knowledge of oneself, not merely an outward appearance.
But if a person is elevated in his own eyes, he does not accept for himself the last seat, and he rebels against this situation if he finds himself in it.
How beautiful is the saying of the spiritual elder in the Paradise of the Fathers: “Wherever you dwell, be the least of your brothers and their servant.”
And Saint Augustine prays, saying: “I ask You, O Lord, for the sake of my masters, Your servants,” calling his congregation his masters because he was their servant.
In Scripture we find many examples of those who took the last seat.
The Virgin Lady, the Mother of God, when she heard that Elizabeth was pregnant, traveled to her through the mountains and stayed with her three months, serving her until she gave birth. She became a servant while she was the Queen standing at the right hand of the King: “Let me be the Mother of God, but I must serve this old woman.”
Perhaps the most wonderful example in existence is the Lord Christ Himself: “For the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve” (Matthew 20:28).
The great Saint Paul the Apostle placed himself last of all, and said concerning the appearance of Christ after the Resurrection: “And last of all He was seen by me also, as by one born out of due time… for I am the least of the apostles, who am not worthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the Church of God” (1 Corinthians 15:8–9).
Abraham, the father of the fathers, preferred Lot, his nephew, over himself. He asked him to choose for himself whatever he wished from the land and leave for him what he rejected.
Lot chose the green, fertile, well-watered land, and left the barren land to his uncle Abraham, who accepted to prefer him over himself. And this Abraham, who preferred Lot over himself, the Lord blessed even more.
David—after the Lord had anointed him king—preferred Saul over himself.
Although the Lord had rejected Saul, and an evil spirit troubled him, and David prayed for him, David still preferred him over himself, considering him the Lord’s anointed. He worked as his servant and armor-bearer, and took the position of the last seat in relation to him.
The humble person does not give himself precedence over others, but always prefers others over himself, saying: “This one is better than I; this one is more deserving than I,” and he places himself at the end of the list.
Many saints fled from the first seats, from positions, titles, and offices, and lived as the last of all, without rank or title. Thus the saying of one of the Fathers applied to them: “He who seeks honor, it flees from him; and he who flees from it knowingly, it pursues him and guides all people to him.”
Saint Anba Ruwais lived in his generation in the last seat. He was neither a bishop, nor a priest, nor a monk, nor did he hold any office. Rather, he was a camel driver leading his camel like a poor man, yet he was higher in his spirituality than all.
In heaven we shall see many saints who lived in the last seat, unknown to people but known to God.
These were not placed by the world in the first seats, nor did they seek them for themselves, but God, who knows their true measure, will change their position and raise them up: “So the last will be first, and the first last” (Matthew 20:16), and as Scripture says: “Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted” (Luke 14:11).
Our problem is that we want to take our honor on earth. We want to be elevated here, to appear, to move ahead of the lines and advance. Therefore, the desire for the first seats exhausts us, a desire that has wearied many since ancient times.
It was the desire for the first seat that caused the fall of Satan (Isaiah 14).
He said in his heart, “I will ascend above the heights of the clouds: I will ascend into heaven; I will exalt my throne above the stars of God” (Isaiah 14:13).
This “above” is what ruined the glorious chief of angels and cast him down.
And just as the desire for the first seat cast down Satan, it also fought against the disciples, so that they disputed among themselves who was the greatest among them.
The Lord answered them, saying that this way of thinking should not be among them: “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave” (Matthew 20:25–27), that is, let him take the last seat.
By the desire for the first seat, the mother of the sons of Zebedee said to the Lord: “Grant that these two sons of mine may sit, one on Your right hand and the other on the left” (Matthew 20:21). The Lord rejected the dispute over the first seats and directed her instead to the cup they must drink and the baptism with which they must be baptized.
How many love the first seats and therefore seek gifts and powers.
They want to be people of gifts, to speak in tongues, and to boast, saying: “Even the demons are subject to us in Your name” (Luke 10:17).
But the humble person says: “I, O Lord, deserve nothing. Merely standing before You is something I do not deserve, O Lord. Merely that You listen to my voice in prayer is something I do not deserve. Who am I to speak to You, You before whom stand the angels, the cherubim, the seraphim, and the countless hosts of the heavenly powers?”
Does the one who places himself in the last seat seek gifts?
Look: for whom was the fatted calf slaughtered, and a new robe placed, and a ring put on his hand? Was it not the son who said to his father: “I am no longer worthy to be called your son” (Luke 15:19), in contrast to the elder son who boasted in his works?
By contrast, in Scripture we find struggles over the first seats.
We find a struggle between Leah and Rachel over the first seat in the heart of the man, and the first seat in bearing sons.
We find a struggle between Esau and Jacob over who would see life before the other, and another struggle over the birthright, priority, and blessing.
We even find in the history of the Church struggles over the first seat.
And we have seen women in some Western churches struggle over the first seat and demand the priesthood, for the first time in history—something that the Virgin Mary, the Mother of God, did not seek.
There are three virtues which, if we acquire them, will distance us from the love of the first seats and make us prefer the last seat with conviction: humility, self-knowledge, and love for others.
If you are humble of heart, and know yourself as you truly are, and realize how sinful you are, and how far you are from the perfection required of you, and far from the divine image, then your soul will be crushed, and you will feel unworthy of the first seats—if you are just with yourself.
Likewise, if you have love toward others, then through love you will prefer others over yourself, and through love you will place others before yourself.
This is contrary to self-centeredness, by which you prefer yourself, love to advance over others, and take the first seat. How many times did people love the first seats, and the result was that the Lord placed them in the last seats. There are examples of this.
Those who caught the sinful woman in the very act placed her in the last seat as a sinner, and placed themselves in the first seats of righteousness and lack of sin. The Lord shamed them and showed them to be sinners as well. As for the woman, He raised her up, saying: “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more” (John 8:11).
He did the same with the sinful woman who wet His feet with her tears, and raised her above the Pharisee who thought himself something and judged her.
In the same way, He exalted the tax collector who took the last seat, stood afar off, and did not dare to lift his eyes upward, and preferred him over the Pharisee who thought himself better than others.
Many fall into the love of the first seat in various ways and forms, including competition and crowding in all matters of life. People leap over one another on the road of life; everyone wants to be ahead.
They even crowd one another at the time of Communion, which is fitting for humility and contrition.
The love of the first seat appears even in conversations, when one person interrupts another, wanting to speak before him or instead of him. Few are those who take the last seat, preferring listening to speaking, and benefiting to the desire to benefit others.
There are those who love to place themselves in the first seat, or who always love for themselves the image of the teacher, the advisor, and the guide. Others are fought by this desire for prominence and leadership.
Thus people enter into competitions over membership in societies and committees and their presidencies. Each wants to lead, manage, and direct. Each demolishes the opinion of the other so that he himself may appear in the picture. And all forget a beautiful saying of one of the saints: “The best of people is the one who does not care who holds the world in his hand.”
Therefore, asceticism greatly helps us to renounce the first seats.
If we feel that we are strangers on earth and long for the heavenly homeland, then we will not care about the first seats on earth, nor will they represent anything of value that we desire, as Saint Augustine said: “I sat on the summit of the world when I felt within myself that I desired nothing and feared nothing.”
Do not seek the first seats here; rather, seek to have a seat in the bosom of the Father, through love and humility.
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