Steps on the Road to God – Defending Oneself
Steps on the Road to God
We continue our discussion about humility, and we focus on one specific point related to humility, namely: not defending oneself. When does self-defense stand against humility? And to what sins does it lead?
Defending Oneself[1]
A humble person does not defend himself, but rather continually condemns himself, and it is easy for him to say that he is wrong…
As for the proud person, he is always justifying himself. He is righteous in his own eyes, and he wants to be righteous in the eyes of others…
The humble person stands before God as a sick person who needs treatment; therefore, he presents his weaknesses to God, so that He may grant him strength to heal them. He asks people for prayers to be added to his own prayers, so that God may have mercy on him… As for the proud person, he is among the healthy who have no need of a physician! (Matt. 9:12).
The humble person is defended by God, while he himself does not defend himself…
He does not justify himself, but God is the One who justifies him. As happened with righteous Joseph: he was sold by his brothers as a slave, and he did not defend himself… He was falsely accused by his master’s wife, and he did not defend himself, and he was cast into prison until the Lord defended him…
And Saint Abba Macarius the Great was accused of a similar sin, and he did not defend himself. He labored in the work of his hands and said to himself: “Labor, O Macarius, for you have become married and have children.” He remained so until the Lord revealed his innocence. The woman’s childbirth was difficult, so she confessed that she had wronged him.
Just as Abba Macarius and righteous Joseph did not defend themselves, likewise Saint Marina endured the disgrace of sin unjustly. Her innocence was not discovered except at her death, when it was revealed that she was a girl and not a man!
As for defending oneself and justifying the self, it is a very ancient sin.
This sin began with Eve and Adam. Each of them tried to justify himself and refused to confess and say: “I have sinned.”
We inherited this sin, and Cain, the first son of Adam, inherited it as well.
This sin continued in the nature of humanity and became associated with many other sins, for there is no barren sin. Every sin has offspring.
The first sin associated with defending oneself is pride…
A person defends himself in order to appear righteous, driven by pride. But the humble person does not care that people take a good impression of him; therefore, he does not defend himself. He may even accuse himself before people…
Among the other sins associated with defending oneself is lying.
Lying is a cover that conceals sin. And if it is exposed, it may be covered by another lie. How many stories in the Bible illustrate this matter.
In the story of Susanna the chaste, defending oneself was associated with lying. And Joseph’s brothers, when they sold him, covered the sin with a lie, saying that a fierce beast had devoured him, and they stained his tunic with blood as evidence (Gen. 37:33)!
Look at yourself: every time you defend yourself, how many lies have you fallen into—such as one who claims illness in order to defend himself for his absence, and involves a physician with him in the lie!
Among the other errors associated with defending oneself is placing the blame on others.
In order to prove your innocence, you cast the responsibility of the mistake upon someone else!
This is what Adam did when he justified himself by placing the blame on Eve.
And this is what Eve did when she justified herself by placing the blame on the serpent.
Indeed, Adam even tried to place the blame on God Himself: “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate” (Gen. 3:12).
This shows us how closely this sin is connected to blasphemy against God.
A person falls into a problem, perhaps because of his negligence. A student fails, perhaps because he did not study. A person is arrested, perhaps because of his mistakes. In all this and other matters, how easy it is to complain against God and accuse Him of oppressing him, or of having abandoned him, or of being the cause!
A person may defend himself by boasting…
An example of this is Cain, who killed his brother. When God asked him, “Where is Abel your brother?” he answered with arrogance in order to defend himself: “Am I my brother’s keeper?!” (Gen. 4:9).
Some may fall into arrogance by attacking as a means of defense, like the popular proverb that says: “Strike him before he strikes you”…
Among those who fell into something resembling blasphemy in defending themselves is righteous Job.
In his self-justification, he says to God: “Is it good for You that You oppress?” (Job 10:3); “Will You condemn me that You may be justified?” (Job 40:8); “Make me know my transgression and my sin” (Job 13); “Although You know that I am not wicked, and there is no one who can deliver from Your hand!” (Job 10:7). And he said to his friends: “Know then that God has wronged me, and has surrounded me with His net” (Job 19:6).
Defending oneself may also be associated with anger and revolt, and with insulting others. It may also lead to reviling and revenge.
Righteous Job, in defending himself against his three friends, said to them: “Miserable comforters are you all! Shall words of wind have an end?” (Job 16:2–3); “Oh, that you would be silent, and it would be your wisdom!” (Job 13:5); “But you forgers of lies, you are all worthless physicians” (Job 13:4).
The Apostle Peter, in defending himself, drew his sword and cut off the ear of the servant. The Lord Christ showed him that this way does not suit us in defending ourselves, and said to him: “Put your sword in its place” (Matt. 26:52).
Some, in defending themselves, fall into resistance and argument…
They speak excessively in a tiresome manner, in foolish debate, in which the element of fallacy becomes evident, merely for the sake of defense.
In all this, the one who defends himself becomes a cause of stumbling for others,
because of the many mistakes into which he falls that cause people to stumble.
Whereas the person who does not defend himself, and may calmly accept the blame upon himself, becomes a role model for others. They benefit greatly from his humility, his calmness, and his inner peace.
One of the most dangerous matters in defending oneself is the attempt to philosophize error by turning values upside down and changing the balance of matters.
Thus, the wrongdoer tries to clothe falsehood with the garment of truth in order to escape responsibility for the falsehood he committed, claiming that it is truth!
From here arose many philosophical, intellectual, social, and educational schools, due to attempts to philosophize errors and justify them rationally.
A person is harsh with his children, so he clothes harshness with the garment of firmness, and uses—without understanding—the saying: “Discipline your son with a rod of iron.” Thus, he not only responds to his error, but establishes a principle in dealing with children. He may strike his wife, and if she reproaches him, he establishes another principle concerning a man’s right to strike his wife. The error becomes a philosophy.
The one who hoards his money without justification, and the miser who does not spend on necessities—each justifies his position with a philosophy of economy, and accuses the one who spends of extravagance, wasting money, and lack of wisdom!!
By this method of defense, heretics fell into heresies.
If one of them had admitted that he erred, his heresy would not have arisen, and the matter would have ended. But his insistence on justifying himself and defending himself made him search for rational or logical proofs by which he could prove his opinion and that he did not err. Thus, the heretic begins to philosophize his errors… He may use texts and verses from Scripture for purposes other than those intended, and he places before people new, erroneous concepts whose cause is defending oneself!
How unjust people are in their use of verses and texts!!
Every doctrine, no matter how clearly wrong it is, tries to prove its error by verses and texts. And those who oppose it also use verses and texts. The truth is lost in the false interpretation of texts…
Defending oneself leads to many errors and dangers, as we have seen. Perhaps the most hideous of them is defending oneself before God…
Whereas before God, “every mouth may be stopped” (Rom. 3:19), and a person says nothing except the words: “I have sinned; forgive me; have mercy on me.”
Confession of Sin
Confession of sin brings forgiveness, while attempting to justify oneself brings condemnation, whether before God or before people.
If you apologize to someone, the problem between you and him ends, because in apologizing you do not justify yourself. But if you continue to argue, the situation escalates, the problem increases, and you become like one who insists on his error. Many marital and family problems are caused by each party’s insistence that he did not err and that the fault lies with the other!
The word “I was wrong” has a profound effect in dissolving problems.
But there is a situation in which defense is appropriate…
If a person is angry with you, thinking that you insulted or betrayed him, and you admit that, his anger increases, and perhaps your relationship is severed and the consequences worsen. But if you explain to him the reality of the matter—that you did not insult him nor betray him—his soul is calmed, and peace prevails between you.
In this case, the reason for defending oneself is not self-justification, but winning others, pleasing them, and establishing love.
This is not defense, but rather clarification of a situation. And this clarification and apology have the same result…
My brethren, defending oneself is an easy matter that anyone can do. But not defending oneself is the characteristic of the strong.
Christ the Mighty: “He was oppressed, yet He humbled Himself and opened not His mouth” (Isa. 53:7).
He did not defend Himself before the Sanhedrin, and He did not defend Himself before Pilate. By His silence He won the situation, and He gave us a teaching about the other cheek and the second mile…
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