Confession and Advice for Confessors
Confession and Advice for Confessors
Confession is a spiritual means for a person’s repentance.
So much so that in the doctrine of the Church we call the sacrament of confession “the Sacrament of Repentance.” It truly leads to repentance if a person practices it in a spiritual manner befitting it. For confession is not merely words spoken by the confessor to the priest father; rather, it must be mixed with certain feelings that lead the sinner to true repentance. How is this so?
And what are the elements of confession so that it may be complete?
Confession includes four elements that must take place:
1- Confession before God Himself.
As the Prophet David says to the Lord in Psalm Fifty, the psalm of repentance: “Against You, You only, have I sinned, and done this evil in Your sight” (Ps. 50:4). In this confession you ask God for forgiveness, as we say in prayer: “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” And you ask God to remove His anger from you, which you deserve because of your sins, as you say in the psalm: “O Lord, do not rebuke me in Your anger, nor chasten me in Your hot displeasure. Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I am weak” (Ps. 6:1–2).
2- Just as we confess before God, we also confess before the father of confession.
You confess before him as a steward of the mysteries of God (1 Cor. 4:1), and as a messenger from God to you (Mal. 2:7). You confess before him so that he may grant you from God forgiveness and absolution (John 20:22–23; Matt. 18:18), and also so that he may permit you to partake of the Holy Communion, that you may partake worthily (1 Cor. 11:27). Also for spiritual guidance, so that he may explain to you what you should do.
You also confess before the priest father for a practical reason: that a person is often ashamed when mentioning his sins before a spiritual person, and especially before the priesthood. This shame helps him not to commit the sin in the future. Thus Scripture says: “Confess your trespasses to one another” (James 5:16), that is, human to human.
3- You confess to the one whom you have wronged all that you have done against him.
This is in order to remove from him any anger or sorrow because of your offense, so that you may partake with a pure heart toward all. This is what the Lord taught in the Sermon on the Mount when He said: “Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother” (Matt. 5:23–24).
Thus, if you find that in every offense against others you go to them, reconcile with them, and apologize to them, confessing your fault toward them, this will undoubtedly lead you to be cautious in dealing with others and to refrain from offense, so that you do not have to apologize for it.
4- There is another confession, which may be the first in chronological order: to confess between yourself and yourself that you have sinned.
For if you are not confessing within your heart and mind that you have sinned, you will not confess before God a sin that you do not see yourself as having committed. Nor will you confess before the priest that you have sinned, nor will you go to your brother to reconcile with him, as long as you are not convinced within yourself that you have wronged him.
Thus, confession of a fault or a sin begins first within the person, with an inner feeling that he has sinned, with an intellectual conviction of the reality of the sin and its details, and with the necessity of confessing it in order to obtain forgiveness and to reach reconciliation with God and with people.
Many people do not have this inner feeling of sin; therefore, they do not proceed toward repentance or confession. Perhaps because their spiritual standards are unsound, or because they constantly justify their actions. The self stands against every confession of fault. They see themselves as always right, so what would they confess? Indeed, many of those who err clothe their errors with the garment of virtue and boast in that error, just as the Pharisees and scribes thought they were right in opposing the Lord Christ, defending the Law of Moses and the traditions of their fathers. Thus they said to Him boldly and proudly in their sin: “Do we not say rightly that You are a Samaritan and have a demon?” (John 8:48). They insult Christ in this way and curse Him, thinking that they are speaking rightly.
Therefore, the confessor must feel that he has sinned. He must regret his sin and have his heart broken because of it.
The Prophet David, because of the intensity of his remorse, wept bitterly over his sin, and with his tears he soaked his bed (Ps. 6). He saw that his sin needed washing and purification, so he said to the Lord: “Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin,” “Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean” (Ps. 50:2, 7).
Many come to confession without repentance, without a sense of shame, disgrace, or reproach over their sins; therefore, they do not benefit from their confession, and it becomes mere words without spirit. But you—according to the measure of your repentance will be your repentance, and according to it will be your benefit from confession.
Along with repentance there must be a firm resolve to change your condition:
A determination to abandon the sinful past and to close all paths that lead to sin. For confession does not mean settling an old account to open a new one; rather, it is cutting every connection with sin, recognizing that it is a wrong path that prevents life with God and the dwelling of His Spirit in the heart.
Likewise, the confessor must be certain that he has sinned against God Himself.
For sin is disobedience to God and a breaking of His commandments. It is rebellion against God and a revolt against Him, and a preference for the love of the world, matter, and the flesh over the love of God. As Saint James the Apostle said: “Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God” (James 4:4). And Saint John the Apostle said: “If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him” (1 John 2:15). Thus sin is against the love of God, and at the same time it is a rejection of communion with His Holy Spirit, because “what fellowship has light with darkness?” (2 Cor. 6:14). And because sin is against God, it is therefore unlimited, since God is unlimited.
For this reason, we see the Prophet David saying to the Lord: “Against You, You only, have I sinned, and done this evil in Your sight” (Ps. 50:4). He did not say, “I sinned against Uriah and Bathsheba his wife.” Likewise, when sin was presented to Joseph the Righteous, he refused it, saying: “How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?” (Gen. 39:9). Keep this, therefore, in your mind as you confess: that you have sinned against God.
Confession is not merely a relationship between you and the father of confession; rather, before everything, it is a relationship with God.
You confess to God in the hearing of the priest, as Joshua the son of Nun said to Achan: “My son, give glory to the Lord God of Israel, and make confession to Him, and tell me now what you have done” (Josh. 7:19). Likewise, in the absolution, you receive absolution from God through the mouth of the priest. Thus you feel the presence of God during confession and benefit spiritually from your confession. Many forget the presence of God during confession; thus the reverence of confession is lost, and they do not gain the desired benefit.
There is also an important point in benefiting from confession: understanding the meaning of forgiveness and how it takes place.
The person who sinned used to bring a sacrifice for his guilt or his sin, place his hand on the head of the sacrifice, and confess his sins (Lev. 5:5). He understood completely that this sacrifice would die instead of him. He deserved death, but that slaughtered lamb would die on his behalf. Placing his hand indicated two things: that he accepted this sacrifice to take his place, and that by placing his hand on it, the sin was transferred from him to it—the sin which he confessed before the priest.
How do we apply this in the sacrament of confession? It means that the sin is transferred from you to the account of Christ, for Him to erase it with His blood.
Thus, your confession of your sin means that you ask Christ to carry it instead of you. It is transferred from you to Him, and He bears it on your behalf.
Here you truly feel and understand the meaning of forgiveness. It does not mean that God has relinquished His right, for divine justice must be satisfied. How? By Christ bearing your sin and erasing it with His blood. This is what was said in the Book of Isaiah the Prophet: “All we like sheep have gone astray… and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all,” “He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities” (Isa. 53:6, 5). With this sound understanding, your feelings toward confession, its seriousness, and forgiveness and how it occurs will be correct.
Here confession is inseparable from Christ and His blood.
It is as though you say to the priest father: I have come to you, my father, so that you may take all my defilement and transfer it to the head of Christ, to bear it on my behalf—every defilement of thought, heart, tongue, and also the defilement of the body; all my sins without exception. It is therefore a process of transfer, and without this transfer forgiveness does not take place. Thus when David confessed that he had sinned, Nathan said to him: “The Lord also has put away your sin; you shall not die” (2 Sam. 12:13). Transferred it to where? To the account of Christ. And why will you not die? Because He will die for you.
This is the only way for forgiveness, because “without shedding of blood there is no remission” (Heb. 9:22). God hears your sins which you confess to Him in the hearing of the priest and transfers them to the account of His only Son, whom He “sent… to be the propitiation for our sins” (1 John 4:10). “And the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin” (1 John 1:7).
Therefore, place the blood of Christ before you in every confession. And if you are ashamed, be ashamed before Him.
Be ashamed before this All-Pure One who carries your impurity, this Holy One who alone is without sin, who knew no sin, yet was made sin for us “that we might become the righteousness of God in Him” (2 Cor. 5:21). This true shame, with its theological understanding, is what makes you ashamed to commit sin again—not merely your shame before the priest who hears your sins, but your shame before the Holy Son who bears your sins.
For Christ to bear your sins, two things are required from you: faith and repentance.
Faith in Him and in His wondrous redemption which He offered for your salvation. About this Scripture says: “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). Whoever believes in Him.
As for the repentance required for you to deserve forgiveness, the Lord said: “Unless you repent you will all likewise perish” (Luke 13:3, 5).
Do you think that confession without faith and repentance can save you?
No. Therefore, mix your confession with repentance, contrition, and a sincere resolve to change your conduct. Thus you will deserve the blood of Christ which cleanses you from every sin, and you will come out of your confession washed by the precious blood.
Advice for Confessors
1- You should consider the time, responsibilities, and health of the father of confession, and also consider the other confessors who are waiting their turn after you. Do not prolong more than necessary, nor waste time in unnecessary introductions and explanations, or in trying to remember what you want to say. Rather, prepare your confession beforehand, with focus during your confession.
2- Know that to the extent that you open your heart and are honest in your confession, to that extent you will benefit spiritually.
3- You must keep the confidentiality of your father of confession’s guidance, just as he keeps the confidentiality of what you say of your sins. You may complain in confession about someone or stumble because of him, and the father of confession may advise you to avoid that person or stay away from him. Do not go out and tell others, “My father of confession ordered me to stay away from so-and-so,” for you may cause embarrassment to your spiritual father.
4- Do not ask your father of confession to be merely an executor of your wishes, coming to him with decisions and asking him to approve them, then wasting time in argument, tears, and anguish because he did not approve what you want. The proper approach is to consult him and ask for his advice, not to present pre-made decisions. At the same time, do not try to hide from him what you think he will not agree with.
5- Do not ask your father of confession about matters that are not for your benefit to know, such as church politics and news, even under the pretext of saying, “Thoughts have troubled me regarding such-and-such church news.”
6- You should have confidence in your father of confession and not compel him, in every piece of advice, to provide you with many proofs and arguments in order to convince you, thus expending effort that could be spared.
7- If a thought of doubt comes to you regarding your father of confession, do not express it in a hurtful manner, but let there be courteous honesty.
8- Do not treat your father of confession as an equal, nor reproach him harshly. Remember always that in confessing to him, you are standing before God’s representative.
9- Do not be jealous of the way your father of confession deals with others who have special cases, nor try to pressure him to know those special cases, for by doing so you intrude into the confidentiality of their confessions.
10- Do not be excessively frequent in going to your father of confession, asking him even about trivial matters or every small and great thing, lest others wonder why he meets with you more than them and you cause him embarrassment.
11- You must practice obedience, and let it be wise obedience.
12- If your father of confession rebukes you for a fault, do not be upset by his rebuke; it is for your benefit. Do not try to justify yourself in what you present in confession.
13- If you ask your father of confession something and he remains silent, do not say that his silence is a sign of approval. Perhaps he was silent because what you are asking involves something embarrassing, or reveals some people’s secrets, or because the answer would not benefit you but might harm you, or because he has answered that before, or because he is exhausted, or because the question itself is wrong.
14- In your confession do not mention half-truths, but the whole truth.
15- Do not turn confession into a complaint against others, nor let it be a forum to speak about the faults of others. Speak about your own faults alone.
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