The Humility of the Priest
Among the Spiritual Qualities of the Priest Is “Humility”[1]
Perhaps this page should be placed at the forefront of the qualities, for the Lord Christ said to His apostles: “Learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matt 11:29). Thus He made humility and gentleness the most important things they should learn from Him.
The priest must realize that his role is a responsibility, not an authority,
and that he has been established as a father to the people, not merely a leader over the people.
It is true that he has leadership, but leadership in the priesthood is not like leadership among the people of the world, nor is it a tool for domination.
Rather, leadership exists merely to enable him to perform his responsibility:
it helps him to fulfill his duty, not to exalt the self…!
Thus, in his humility, the priest does not exalt himself above people, nor does he treat anyone with arrogance—not even the young, not even the servants. He does not deal haughtily with the poor and the needy, but humbly with all, and he does not seek honor for himself.
I recall that in the year 1959 I said to one of the newly ordained priests:
Be a son among your brethren, and a brother among your children.
That is, he deals with his fellow priests as a son to them, not saying in himself, “The heads have become equal.” And with his lay children, he deals as a brother to them. He remembers that the Lord Christ often called His disciples brothers (Heb 2:11–12). Saint Paul the Apostle said to his disciple Timothy the bishop: “Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with all purity” (1 Tim 5:1–2).
Therefore, it is not permissible for a newly ordained priest, still young in age, to say to an elderly layman, “My son,” nor to an old woman, “My daughter.” Remember that Saint Paul says in his Epistle to the Romans: “Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord, and his mother and mine” (Rom 16:13). You may say to an elderly man, “Uncle so-and-so,” and to an elderly woman, “Aunt so-and-so,” with all politeness and respect.
Does the priesthood prevent respect for people?! Certainly not; rather, it obliges it.
The priest gives people an idea of proper etiquette in speaking with others
through his practical manner—great courtesy—in his speech with people, and others imitate him in this, especially if he uses this kind of humility with the young, with his assistants, and with those who work with him.
The priest may expect respect from people. This is his right, without asking for it.
But what prevents the style of interaction from being mutual respect? They respect him for his priesthood, his fatherhood, and his person. And he treats them with respect, because this is the civilized social manner—how much more the spiritual manner exchanged with them as children of God.
Respecting the priest does not diminish his stature; rather, it increases it in their eyes.
It is dangerous for the priest to grow great in his own eyes,
and consequently want to grow great in the eyes of people.
I know that every rank given to you is meant to increase you in humility, when you feel within yourself unworthy of it.
Saint Augustine, in some of his prayers, used to say: “I ask You, O Lord, for my masters, ‘Your servants.’ I am before them a shepherd to them, but before You I am one with them from Your flock. Shepherd me with them. I am before them a teacher to them, but before You I am a disciple with them. Teach me and teach them.”
Take a lesson from the Virgin Mary, who, when the angel Gabriel announced to her that great glory, said: “Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word” (Luke 1:38). She did not call herself a mother, but a maidservant.
Among the humility of the priest is that he does not constantly insist on his opinion, as though he were infallible in all his words and thoughts,
nor does he always assume that he is right in everything and that others are wrong. He does not contend stubbornly with another opinion, but accepts it, tries to understand it, and dialogues with it in all gentleness. Let him remember that God dialogued with our father Abraham regarding Sodom and accepted his view (Gen 18), and that He Himself said: “Come now, and let us reason together” (Isa 1:18).
Do not be angry if someone discusses your actions, and do not consider it an insult.
The prophet Jeremiah said to the Lord: “Righteous are You, O Lord, when I plead with You; yet let me talk with You about Your judgments. Why does the way of the wicked prosper?” (Jer 12:1). And the Lord did not say to him, “Who are you to speak to Me about My judgments?!”
I recall that in my book on Psalm Three, I devoted a chapter to dialogue with God and our saying to Him, “O Lord, why?” I wish you would read it.
There is no harm, therefore, in giving people the opportunity to discuss matters with you,
for they too have minds that want to be convinced and to find peace.
A relationship of understanding that leads to conviction is far stronger than a relationship of merely accepting commands and executing them without conviction.
The one who discusses with you, and whom you explain your thought to and who accepts it from you, will not only become an executor of your thought, but will spread it and convince others of it as he himself was convinced. Never think that respect for the priesthood means that it must not be discussed!
No one is infallible, not even in the field of teaching.
Our teacher Saint James the Apostle says: “My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment; for we all stumble in many things” (James 3:1–2).
Saint Augustine, one of the great teachers of the Church, reviewed some of his previous thoughts and teachings in his book Retractions.
Another point I would like to mention: there are in the Church some elderly people, people of experience, and people of certain specializations.
You should respect their opinions in those experiences and specializations,
and not impose your opinion in every specialty, no matter how far it may be from your own studies. Know that the more you listen and respect the opinions of experienced people, the more you will gather around you many people of mature minds. If you act otherwise, they will flee from you, and this will not be for your benefit nor for the benefit of the Church.
For it is not reasonable that we do not give dignity to the laity so that we ourselves may have dignity!!
This is unacceptable, impractical, and unrealistic.
First, because the goal of the men of the priesthood is not to seek honor for themselves, but the salvation of people’s souls and the good of the Church.
Second, because running after honor does not lead to honor. As Mar Isaac said: “He who seeks honor, it flees from him; and he who flees from it knowingly, it seeks him and points people to him.”
Third, by giving dignity to the laity and other servants, we make them more attached to the Church, more contributing to its activities, loving to work in it, and loving the clergy and the entire religious milieu.
Therefore, there is no harm in attracting all these people to you and listening to them.
It is good of you to say, “It is important for us to hear the opinion of so-and-so,” or “We would like to benefit from the experience of so-and-so in this matter,” or to say, “You are right, so-and-so, in what you said; you have added beneficial information to us.”
Do not think that if you say this people will belittle you. On the contrary, they will love you more, because you give them dignity and acknowledge their worth. Thus they say about you: “Our Abouna is a good man, and we feel comfortable working with him.”
Do not make people despair of speaking or understanding with you.
Do not make them feel, in every matter they discuss with you, that they are facing a reality that does not accept modification or change! Some of them may say to others: “Why should I lose my peace speaking with this father? We may talk to him for an hour or two, and we end up at the starting point as if we said nothing! His opinion is the same, as though it were ‘the law of the Medes and Persians’!” (Dan 6:8).
Thus, in order to preserve their peace with you, such people leave the Church to you to manage as you wish, feeling that there is no place for them…!
Also, the humble priest does not wound anyone’s feelings.
He does not hurt the psyche of anyone, but speaks to everyone with courtesy and calmness, carefully selecting his words in speaking with people.
As he respects people’s feelings, they also respect his feelings.
As he is very careful in dealing with them, so they are careful in dealing with him: they revere him and do not offend him in word or deed.
The mistake of some priests is that they misunderstand the apostolic saying: “Rebuke, exhort, teach” (2 Tim 4:2).
As they increase rebuke, they decrease respect for people, lose their gentleness and humility, and rebuking becomes part of their nature—with the great and the small, in serious matters and ordinary ones. People search for meekness in them and do not find it, and they stumble.
Saint Paul, who said to his disciple Timothy the bishop, “Rebuke, exhort, teach,” said immediately afterward: “with all longsuffering and teaching.” He gave us an example of himself in this matter when he said to the elders of Ephesus: “Therefore watch, and remember that for three years I did not cease to warn everyone night and day with tears” (Acts 20:31). He said “with tears,” not with domination.
He said to the Corinthians: “Now I, Paul, myself am pleading with you by the meekness and gentleness of Christ—who in presence am lowly among you, but being absent am bold toward you” (2 Cor 10:1).
The phrase “lowly among you” is astonishing, spoken by the great Saint Paul the Apostle in his rebuke of them, and also astonishing is “bold toward you.” We link this with his saying, “Rebuke, exhort, teach.”
This is a model of rebuke—and also, do not be excessive in rebuke.
Do not be excessive in scolding, nor rebuke everyone.
The Scripture says: “He who is often rebuked, and hardens his neck, will suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy” (Prov 29:1). It also says: “Do not rebuke a scoffer, lest he hate you; rebuke a wise man, and he will love you” (Prov 9:8).
Thus rebuke is not for everyone. The wise benefit from it, and it is of no use with scoffers. Therefore the Scripture also says: “A rebuke is more effective for a wise man than a hundred blows on a fool” (Prov 17:10).
Therefore, use rebuke only within its limits, with humility, and with those who benefit from it.
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