He who wins souls is wise 1
Last time we spoke about the topic “He Who Wins Souls Is Wise,” and we mentioned a few means for winning souls. Today, we add to them the element of kindness in dealing with others.
We live in a world hungry for compassion, tenderness, and gentle dealings. Saint Paul reminded us that kindness is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22).
So how can a person be kind in his dealings with people?
He who wins souls is wise 1
Do Not Be Critical
There are those who see in others only the black spots and look at people through a dark lens. They constantly criticize and lose people because of their criticism.
But the kind person does not judge much nor criticize often. And if he does, he does so gently — and thus, he wins people.
The Lord Jesus Christ, the Judge of all the earth who will judge the living and the dead, said: “I did not come to judge the world, but to save the world.”
If you wish to win people, walk as Christ walked: instead of condemning them, work for their salvation. Instead of judging them, have compassion on them. Instead of rebuking them for their mistakes, help them overcome them.
In the story of the sinful woman caught in the act, those who treated her harshly and condemned her could not win her. But the Lord Jesus, who said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go in peace,” won her soul.
People need an eye that is closed — one that does not focus on their mistakes. They need an eye that, even if it sees a fault, forgets it. They need someone who sees errors as if he hadn’t seen them, hears as if he hadn’t heard, and never dwells on the mistakes of others or belittles them for them. This is how he wins them.
Do not let your eye be open to people’s faults but to their virtues.
Truly, just as people hunger for compassion and tenderness, they also hunger for praise and encouragement. The one you praise often, you win; the one you encourage often, you win; the one whose virtues you notice and speak about, you win.
The Method of Praise and Encouragement
He who wins people is the one who sees their good sides, highlights them, and praises them, so they feel his love and appreciation.
Imagine being in a meeting where a new member attends for the first time. You introduce him, speak of his talents and background, express your joy at his presence — no doubt you will win him, for he finds in you a friend who respects and values him.
But praising others does not mean flattery. Not at all. Every person — no matter who — has a good quality. Discover it and praise it sincerely.
The Lord Jesus found something worthy of praise in Zacchaeus the tax collector, in the Samaritan woman, and in the sinful woman who washed His feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. He discovered the jewel hidden in the mud, cleaned it, and praised it — and thus won her. Truly, he who wins souls is wise.
Many toil and find no one to appreciate them, struggle and find no one to encourage them. Lift their spirits, and you will win them.
Think of a child who studies hard and earns high grades but no one at home notices. He may even have to draw attention to his achievement himself. How happy he would be if someone discovered his excellence and encouraged him — you would win him.
Do not think encouragement is only for the young. Adults need it too.
Your servant needs encouragement to continue in loyalty and effort, and your superior also needs encouragement to continue in kindness toward you. Even a homeowner rejoices when he hears a kind word of thanks from his gatekeeper.
People always need kind words that make them happy — and they love the one who speaks them.
The person who has a kind tongue, a cheerful face, and gentle dealings can win the whole world.
Because people need good words, God gave them the Gospel, which means “Good News.” The Lord began His Sermon on the Mount with blessings — and “Blessed” means both happiness and grace.
The Lord always encouraged His disciples; He even praised the seed that bore thirtyfold, calling it good, just like that which bore sixty or a hundredfold.
The kind person who wins people encourages and does not judge much.
Even though all sins — hidden and visible — were known to Christ, even the thoughts and intentions of hearts, He did not rebuke much.
So if God, who knows every sin for certain, does not constantly rebuke, how can we — who do not know the full truth — judge others harshly? Our criticism may often be based on suspicion or error, and by judging unjustly, we make people hate us and lose them.
Even when a person truly errs, we can correct him gently and win him. How beautiful is the saying of Scripture: “Encourage the fainthearted.”
Encourage the small, appreciate the great, praise the excellent, and do not despair of the weak.
The wise, kind person — the winner of souls — spreads words of encouragement and blessing to everyone. His mouth blesses and does not curse.
Try this exercise for the coming week: do not criticize anyone, not even the worst person, but discover people’s virtues and praise them. Give everyone his due — honor to whom honor is due, praise to whom praise is due. Praise people for the good in them, without looking at their flaws — and you will win them. You can win people with encouragement, appreciation, and also humility.
Win People Through Humility
People do not love those who act superior to them or speak from above, but they love the humble. How true are the poet’s words:
“When my friend became wealthy,
I realized I had lost my friend.”
This happens when a friend grows proud and distant. But if he stays the same — loving, humble, and simple — he is not lost. When David the prophet was a commander in Saul’s house, Saul’s servants loved him because “he went out and came in before them,” meaning he mingled with them.
The humble person does not overshadow others but gives them a chance to shine. He does not dominate but follows the Apostle’s words: “In honor giving preference to one another.” In this way, he wins others.
The humble speaker who wins people does not monopolize the conversation. He gives others a chance to talk, does not interrupt, belittle, or attack them, but praises their good ideas. He has the virtue of “good listening,” and people love him for it. When he speaks, he says things like, “I liked what so-and-so said,” or “That was a beautiful point,” or “I agree with this view.”
The humble person ignores no one and belittles no one. He respects everyone — and because of his humility, everyone loves him.
Christ humbled Himself by entering the house of Zacchaeus the tax collector, giving honor to Matthew the tax collector by making him an apostle, entering the homes of sinners, and allowing the sinful woman to touch His feet and wipe them with her hair. He even gave value to children. Therefore, all loved Him, He won all, and led them to the Kingdom.
The humble and wise person also wins people by condescending to their weaknesses.
For example, when Nicodemus came to Jesus by night out of fear of the Jews, the Lord did not force him into a public meeting he could not bear — and thus He won him.
God also condescended to the weakness of the Magi who studied the stars — He appeared to them through a miraculous star, and when they believed, He spoke to them in a dream.
And God condescended to all humanity through His Incarnation.
He who stoops to people’s weaknesses wins them, but he who deals from his high tower can never reach their hearts.
The philosopher who speaks only in complex terms and refuses to simplify his knowledge gathers only a few around him. But the humble and wise one expresses deep truths in simple words, wins people, and gains many listeners.
Saint Paul humbled himself to win people, saying, “I did not come with excellence of speech, lest the cross of Christ be emptied.”
He who relies too much on his own intelligence and judgment often disapproves of others’ ways, rebuking and criticizing until he loses them all.
He scolds this one, rebukes that one, speaks harshly to another, offers advice in a hurtful way, and makes cutting remarks about others’ thinking. He ends up losing everyone by comparing his intelligence to their weakness.
But the humble person wins even those of little understanding — with gentleness, politeness, and care for everyone’s feelings.
An article by His Holiness Pope Shenouda III – El-Keraza Magazine – Year Six (Issue Forty-One) – October 10, 1975.
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