They Loved Themselves with a Harmful Love
They Loved Themselves with a Harmful Love
There are people who, while trying to build themselves up, actually destroy themselves! And as they work to realize their self, they lose it! These are the ones who love themselves with a wrong and harmful love. Who are they, and what are their mistakes?
- Some love themselves by constantly surrounding their lives with sinful pleasures—pleasures of the senses, of the body, and of luxury. These pleasures often lead to lust and sin, and may defile both soul and body, dragging the person into a life of vanity and dissipation. In doing so, the person loses their own self and their time—time which is part of life itself. Thus, they degrade their own existence without realizing it!
- Others do not seek pleasure through the senses, but through the imagination. And the realm of thought is vast. What they cannot experience through their senses or their body, they create in imagination—stories, fantasies, and daydreams. They think they are enjoying themselves, saying inwardly, “I will become this… I will do that…” They may drown in these thoughts for long hours, only to wake up to emptiness, having gained nothing.
- Another type of person seeks to build themselves up through false greatness—an outward, superficial, non-spiritual form of self-exaltation that destroys rather than builds. Such people often fall into pride, vanity, and boastfulness, which others naturally reject. They love appearances and the praise of others. And if no one praises them, they praise themselves, recounting their “glorious” deeds! But people admire the humble—those who, no matter how high they rise, live in self-denial. True greatness is not in pride or show, but in the strength of character, in virtue, and in genuine gifts and abilities.
Those who seek to build themselves through false glory recall the saying of one of the saints:
“He who seeks honor, it will flee from him; but he who flees from it with understanding, honor will pursue him and guide everyone to him.”
- The worst form of self-love is megalomania—delusions of grandeur—when a person imagines themselves to be the greatest of all, beyond comparison! They imagine qualities of greatness and superiority that they do not possess, demanding to be treated accordingly. Thus, while they think they are glorifying themselves, they actually lose themselves.
- The person who seeks greatness may also push themselves into positions or responsibilities they are unqualified for. And when they attain them, their lack of competence becomes evident, bringing criticism and humiliation—thus lowering themselves in the very act of trying to rise.
- There are also those who try to build themselves through what they imagine to be leadership or heroism, expressed in constant aggression, conflict, and destruction! They live in a blaze of fiery enthusiasm—criticizing, demolishing, attacking—without ever doing anything positive or constructive. Their pleasure lies in saying, “This is wrong, and this person is mistaken.” Their ideal hero is like Tarzan, leaping from mountain to mountain, fighting everyone. They love movies filled with gunfire, explosions, and destruction—what they call “action films.”
Such people have a fiery temperament—always attacking, always angry. They take pride in embarrassing others and “defeating” them, imagining themselves to be heroes feared by all. Yet, in trying to destroy others, they only destroy themselves, gaining nothing in this world or the next.
They are like the mischievous student who thinks he shows strength by troubling his teachers and disrupting the class, imagining that this is courage or personality! But he usually fails, while the quiet student succeeds. Poor man! He thinks he’s proving himself, but he’s only ruining himself.
Destruction is easier and faster than construction. As the proverb says:
“The well that a wise man digs in a month, a fool can fill up in a day.”
A twenty-story building can be destroyed in seconds by a bomb. But building—that is the noble work. The destroyers only destroy themselves.
- Another kind of harmful self-love is granting oneself absolute freedom in everything—doing whatever one wants, whenever and however one pleases! Such a person rejects every authority, system, or law, considering traditions a burden and refusing advice or correction, saying: “I’m free! No one can interfere with my freedom!” Yet they don’t understand the true meaning of freedom—which is freedom from sin and corruption. The kind of “freedom” they claim leads only to ruin. There is a vast difference between freedom and licentiousness, the latter being the loss of self-control.
This reminds us of the existentialists who sought to find themselves by freeing themselves from God and His commandments. Their motto was:
“It is good that God does not exist—so that I may exist!”
believing that God stands against their desires and passions.
- One of the most dangerous forms of “freedom” in the religious sphere is when someone boasts of having “new ideas” in matters of faith. Such distorted freedom has often led to atheism or the formation of heretical sects—and worse, the attempt to draw others into their own way of thinking.
- Some people try to build themselves through worldly glory—wealth, position, fame, or external appearances. Yet true glory lies in purity, wisdom, and holiness of life. Outward appearances can never build the soul, nor do they accompany a person into eternity.
- Others try to build themselves by appearing righteous and blameless before others. They cover their faults through self-justification, always finding excuses for their mistakes. In defending themselves, they may resort to lying, hypocrisy, or blaming others—thus committing even greater sins. But the true spiritual path for building oneself is not covering one’s faults, but cleansing oneself from them.
Finally, it is astonishing how some people try to prove their existence in ways that actually erase or diminish it.
